Akatsuki for President
by gonyonomaru
Summary: Have you ever wondered what the USA would be like if the Akatsuki members came to power?It would be quite interesting... They are, after all, S-Ranked criminal ninjas. Will America ever be the same? Each character gets their own chapter!
1. Itachi Uchiha

Hello! Have you ever wondered what the USA would be like if for some unknown reason the Akatsuki members came to power? Well, it would be quite... interesting.

Each member has their own ideas as to what is the 'proper' way to run a country so they have been given a separate chapter each.

First up, there is Itachi Uchiha. Who knows, that might not be so bad...?

Itachi Uchiha for President of the United States of America.

Acceptance speech:

A mild looking black haired man wearing sunglasses stepped onto the stage.

He looked out onto the crowd and cleared this throat.

So they had made him President.

There was cheering all around and people were going ballistic just seeing their new leader.

He cleared his throat again.

"Hello, citizens of America," he began and the noise died down.

"I am Itachi Uchiha, the new President of the United States of America. I am truly honored to be standing here and I promise that there will be change in this country."

Itachi paused to gaze out into the crowd with determination.

"I will clear this country of evil and violence. There will be peace!"

The mob below him cheered again.

"Thank you for your votes and I personally thank you for each and every one of them. Your loyalty is not wasted for I will bring reward to all those who trusted in me. It is wonderful just having the opportunity to change this land and it will not be wasted. Thank you, America."

The Uchiha stepped back from the microphones and walked off the stage; a wild frenzy of sound exploded behind him and the citizens of America cheered.

First order of business:

Itachi walked into the white house and looked around his new office.

It was quite spacious, but it seemed to light for his liking.

He made a mental note to redecorate later.

"President Itachi," one of his guards spoke up.

"My name is-" he broke off when the Uchiha lifted his hand up in the air as a symbol of silence.

"I do not want to know your names," Itachi stated blankly and walked out of his office, intending to see the rest of his new home.

They followed tentatively, somewhat perplexed by his behavior.

The new president barely gave any of the rooms a glance and instead walked outside into the large yard.

His guards surrounded him in a circle and whenever he took a step they mimicked his every movement.

He sighed. "I do not need your protection."

Suddenly, there was a high pitched scream. "THERE HE IS!"

Itachi's guards pulled out their guns and tightened their human shield around the president. He could no longer see what was going on because he was shorter than his guards, but he could still hear the screaming.

"Itachi-sama~!" the high pitched voices continued to yell and Itachi pushed one of his guards aside to see.

…fan girls?

The poor Uchiha stifled a sigh as he looked out onto the large swarm of girls dressed completely in pink that were parked out in the road in front of his home.

"Take off your sunglasses Itachi-sama~!" they all yelled in unition.

One of the guards gave Itachi a quizzical look. He had just realized that he had never seen Itachi without his sunglasses.

In fact, no one had. The entire worlds had no idea what color the eyes of the president were.

Itachi shook his head and broke out of the guard circle to start walking back into the house.

They jumped up and ran after him; baffled that he had so easily escaped their grasp.

"President Itachi, how did you...?" one of them yelled after him, but they got no response.

It was as if Itachi had walked right through them.

Inside the house, the screaming was less noticeable.

"President Itachi, we can get rid of them, if you wish," another guard spoke up.

"Do as you want," the Uchiha muttered as if the large swarm of girls was merely a pesky spider.

Half of the guard split up and ran to the phones; each calling the US army to get rid of the 'threat.'

Needless to say, not a single fan girl dared venture within a mile of the president's house after that incident.

President's goals:

"President Itachi, we have called this meeting to discuss your goals for the future of this country," the vice-president stated.

The Uchiha nodded and replied, "My goals are simple."

There was a collective silence and no one said another word. Itachi looked at them and did not explain further- as if he expected them to know what he was talking about.

"Could you tell us those goals?" the vice-president continued.

Itachi gazed at his new subordinates and explained, "We will have free medical care like in Canada."

Another long pause.

"Anything else, Mr. President?"

"Yes. I intend to pass a law allowing anyone that commits a crime to be put to death."

This time, the silence was more of shock than anything else.

One of the subordinates laughed. "That was a joke right? Nice one!"

The others chuckled nervously; neither wanting to laugh nor wanting to be silent.

Underneath his sunglasses, Itachi's eyes were narrowed as he said, "That was no joke. I intend to do this and none of you can stop me."

"But Mr. President! No one would vote for that," another subordinate objected.

"Believe me, I have my ways of persuasion," the Uchiha whispered as he activated his Sharingan and suddenly took his sunglasses off to look at everyone.

They gasped but then suddenly said in monotone," Yes. Mr. President. We support you in everything you do."

Itachi put his sunglasses on again and allowed a ghost of a smile on his face.

"Good."

On the news:

"This is a Fox News Breaking Story," the loud voice of the announcer pierced through the early morning peace in the country.

"We have just been informed that a new law has been passed and approved by President Itachi Uchiha."

People groggily wiped their eyes and started intently at the screen.

"The new law is that if anyone breaks a law- no matter how small- they will be put to _death_!" the announcer emphasized the last word.

"There is an outrage and people have no idea how something so unconstitutional could have been passed!" the announcer kept yelling.

"That means that if you broke a law as of this morning you will die!"

Itachi turned off the big screen television in his bed room.

Those humans really were overreacting too much.

He was only going to kill them if they broke the law so the power to live or die was in their hands.

Plus, with this new system, prisons could be closed down and although that would be bad for people working there, it would free out some money for other more important things.

He turned the TV on again.

"In other news, we now have universal health care like in Canada so while you can't break the law, feel free to break yourself!"

The Uchiha turned the TV off again. Seriously, who wrote all the stuff that the reporter had to say?

His thoughts turned back to his dream of creating a country free of crime. With such steep punishments, he was sure that people would stop the violence.

He had not been kidding when he said that he would bring peace to the country.

Putting his sunglasses back on, Itachi wandered out of his bedroom and was met by his group of guards.

"Good morning President Itachi. Would you like us to make breakfast for you?"

Itachi paused. "You can cook." It was more of a statement then a question.

"Yes. We are very versatile and we can do anything that a man or a woman can do," one of the guards explained with a proud grin.

"Alright. Then make me onigiri with seaweed."

He felt good about all the change he had made so far so he had decided to reward himself with his favorite food- onigiri.

Fifteen minutes later, a large steaming plate of onigiri was in front of him.

How his guards had managed to make it so quickly was a mystery that he never found out.

After breakfast, Itachi checked the news again and he saw the police gathering tens of people and bringing them to a large platform in the center of every town and city in the US.

The phone rang and Itachi picked it up.

"Mr. President! We have people who have broken the law, but we do not know how you intended for them to be put to death."

The Uchiha pondered for a moment before saying, "Hang them and leave their bodies out for all to see for 24 hours. Then take them down and deliver them to their families."

He hung the phone up and stared at the TV screen with determination.

"I want everyone to know the cost of disturbing peace."

What the citizens think:

"Hello sir, could we ask you a few questions?" a young, shy reporter said as she approached one of the many men in the busy New York streets.

The man stopped and gave her a curt nod.

"A-Alright," she stuttered before clearing her throat.

"What do you think about what President Itachi has done for the country?"

The man's face turned sour and he narrowed his eyes. "You wanna know what I think!"

She stepped back a bit, not expecting such a strong reaction.

"That ass is a murderer! Hundreds of thousands of people are dead!" he continued to yell.

"Death to the president!" the man exclaimed once and for all before running down the street.

The young reporter looked back at the camera man beside her.

"Well there you go, folks, that is what some people think of our… beloved… president."

In the white house, the vice president turned off the TV and said, "I told you that passing the law which allowed all criminals to die was a bad idea."

Itachi massaged the bridge of his nose and replied, "I do not need your reminders. Plus, the amount of crime has dropped dramatically. The masses do not seem to be able to comprehend this."

"You could fix this dilemma by abolishing the law," the vice-president pressed onward.

The Uchiha waved him off. "Or, I could go on live television and make a statement."

The room went silent at the idea of the monotone male speaking in front of the entire world.

"Are you sure about that, Mr. President?"

"Trust me, I have a plan."

Less than an hour later, Itachi was standing on a platform with his sunglasses on and dressed in a grey suit with a white tie and black undershirt.

"3…2…1 and live!"

"Hello citizens of America," Itachi began with the calmness of a low tide.

"It had recently come to my attention that you are unhappy with my new law. However, I am going to change that."

He paused and reached up to take his glasses of.

His bright, red eyes make everyone watching gasp and drop what they were doing.

"You now respect my plan and you will wholeheartedly support it."

All across America, everyone watching this, which was on every American channel, stated in monotone, "We respect your plan and we wholeheartedly support it."

Itachi put his glasses back on and walked of the stage.

Problem solved.

What the Akatsuki members thought:

Kisame: "I guess I should have expected Itachi to do something that created peace because he hates violence, but using murder to create peace was a little surprising for me… The whole health care thing was kinda weird too… Um… I guess he did a good job, but he did nothing for the environment."

Pein: "He brought peace and I am happy for that."

Konan: "Itachi wasn't very creative about what he did, but he made peace so just like Pein, I am glad."

Zetsu: "Itachi did great! He made lots of bodies for me to eat. I like bodies…"

Tobi/Madara: "Horrible! Itachi did absolutely horrible! He created _peace!_ Wretched, wretched, wretched peace! The fool! However, I do accept the policy of killing people and leaving their bodies to hang for all to see. The medical care was bad though; he should have gotten rid of all medicine! He was all boring about it too- there should have been rioting and attacking and _blood!_"

Sasori: "I do not care. He did nothing for my interests."

Deidara: "Nothing got blown up! Nothing! I thought he was a violent criminal- not a quiet little snot… err… Itachi was actually pretty calm all the time… never mind."

Orochimaru: "The murdering was a nice touch and so was the medical care, but he should have made medical testing instead of care. He didn't come out of his house much, either. I wanted to see his beautiful Uchiha face and more of those gorgeous Sharingan eyes."

Hidan: "He killed like a fucking pussy! Hanging- seriously- hanging? No torture or sacrifices! Itachi is a piece of shit."

Kakuzu: "The economy did not improve while he was in power. He did nothing to try and help it out! He should have invested all of his money and increased trade, but instead, he was busy weeding out criminals! Wasn't he supposed to make _more _criminals!"

To be continued…

That's the end of Itachi's reign as President.

Kisame is next!

Thanks for reading thus far…

Rate and review!


	2. Hoshigaki Kisame

Hello! This is the second chapter of 'Akatsuki President' and this time, Kisame is filling in. Unlike Itachi, he is more… out there… Enjoy!

Kisame Hoshigaki for President of the United States of America.

Acceptance Speech:

A tall, broad shouldered man stepped out onto the stage and instantly, there was dead silence.

The cheering died down and the man walked toward the microphones.

Some people gasped at his appearance and he heard a few people whispering.

"It's blue." "It has gills." "What is up with its eyes?"

Kisame Hoshigaki cleared his throat.

"Hello people…" he started lamely with a small wave of his hand.

"I am your new president. Kisame Hoshigaki. Thanks for voting for me!"

The tense silence did not end so he continued, "I may not look like a normal president, but I am still fit for the job!"

A few people cheered, but most people were still too shocked at the appearance of their new leader.

"Well… um… I guess I'm done now," he finished with a shrug and walked off stage.

The open mouthed crowd did not move an inch.

First order of business:

Kisame ran into the white house with the half-crazed look of a small child that had just consumed way too much candy.

"This is my house!" he yelled in astonishment ad he continued to zoom around the mansion.

Within a few minutes, he had seen every single room and he was excitedly jumping up and down while looking over his guards.

"So…" he started as he stopped jumping and looked down at them.

He was taller than them by at least a head so quite honestly, they were of no use to him. Plus, he was a ninja.

"Well? Aren't you going to introduce yourselves?" he questioned, much calmer and more in character.

"I am #1," said the first guard.

"That is #2, #3, #4 and #5," he finished and pointed to each guard respectively.

The President raised an eyebrow at their odd names, but said nothing.

"So… what am I supposed to do now?"

Apparently, Kisame had no read the job description of president.

"You can do what you want to, but first, you need to tell us if you would like to make any changes to your house," #2 said.

Kisame pondered for a moment and then peered out the window at the backyard.

"I must have a pool! A really, really big one!"

His excitement was back.

Instantly, #4 and 5 went to go make the necessary preparations and within a few hours, a pool construction crew had arrived.

Kisame watched for a while, but then got bored and turned on one of the many big screen TV's in the house.

They were re-running his acceptance speech, but they were focusing on the audience reaction.

He frowned at their horrified stares and sighed when several children broke out into tears.

"Jeez, I'm not that ugly," he muttered.

The TV was now making mocking cricket noises so he turned it off.

"Is the pool done yet?"

In the Fox News meeting room:

"What are we supposed to do about this?" the main news anchor yelled.

"He's blue for crying out loud! Should we make fun of him?"

Some of the others shook their heads and one of them said, "No. He is the president so we should not aggravate him."

"So we should pretend he's drop dead gorgeous?"

A few people snickered.

"Of course not… we should just avoid all statements about his appearance and instead, let's focus on many meaningless things."

There was a murmur of agreement and the meeting was adjourned.

Later that evening, the news were completely void of anything about President Kisame and it was as if he did not exist.

President's goals:

"Welcome President Kisame Hoshigaki," the vice-president announced with a hesitant hand-shake.

Kisame took the outstretched hand and shook it confidently.

"I am glad to be here. All these fancy meetings are always entertaining."

Everyone sat down and the vice-president began, "President Kisame, what are your goals for the future of this wonderful nation?"

"My main goal is to improve the environment. I want to raise taxes on big business and cut down CO2 emissions by half within the year. Gas will be banned and hydrogen fuel will be used for cars. Solar power, wind power and geothermal power will be used for electricity," he stated boldly.

The vice-president furrowed his brow and reminded, "Those are some serious changes and it will be hard for you to convince everyone to do this. The public will be upset."

The warning rolled off Kisame like a wave and he remained unaffected.

"We have the technology to make change, but no one has been pushing mankind to use it. Until now."

A few days later, much to the dismay of the world, Kisame's new laws were passed.

At Fox News, they could no longer ignore the president so they were forced to do a story.

Kisame was at home by then and he was dutifully watching the TV- awaiting the reaction of the public.

"Good evening America. Today, our top story is the slew of laws that have been passed in government today."

The announcer took a deep breath and continued, "For one, gas has now been banned as a source of fuel. Two, taxes on big business have gone up by 20%. Three, solar power, wind power and other energy efficient alternatives will be used for electricity."

Kisame grinned and smiled at his guards, who just nodded passively.

"Oh-," the announcer broke off suddenly before clearing her throat.

"We have just received news that scientists have discovered a way to make hydrogen fuel compatible with regular cars. This will cause no CO2 emissions and the government is offering reconfiguration for all cars for free."

Kisame's grin widened as he said, "I told you that humans had the technology to go green."

A week later, all the gas in the country had been sold and that boosted American's economy considerably.

Plus, almost everyone was rushing to the store to get solar panels, wind generators and other such devices so that boosted the economy further.

Skeptics were starting to stop criticizing Kisame's decisions and there was peace in the country.

President Kisame had actually dramatically improved the country within a matter of weeks.

What the citizens think:

In Los Angeles, a handsome male reporter approached a young female walking down the street.

"Hello miss, could we ask you a few questions for a news interview?" he said in a deep voice that could sway any woman.

"Sure, ask away," she said with a nod.

"Alright, do you have a car?"

She nodded again, "Yes. I just recently had it converted to hydrogen."

"Good, did you find that inconvenient?"

"Nope, it was free and quick. And hydrogen is cheaper than gas so I really don't mind," she gave the reporter a much wider smile than necessary.

"What about electricity? Has that been an issue?" he said with a little bit of wonder.

"A little bit at first because the power kept going out, but they got it figure out. Oh and those solar power things were kinda expensive, but the government did give a few bonuses to those who bought it," she said with a shrug.

Her attention was focused more on the delightful appearance of the reporter than the questions.

He gave her another charming smile and said, "Thank you for your time."

Then, he turned back to the camera man and said, "Well there you have it. Americans are warming up to the idea of going green."

Back at the news room, the main news anchor replied, "Thank you for that information, but in other news, our economy is really starting to suffer."

A giant green dollar sign popped up on the screen as she continued, "Even though selling all our gas initially boosted the economy, all the money the government spent on converting cars from gas to hydrogen and giving bonuses to those with their own electricity has forced us to crawl deeper into debt."

The dollar sign disappeared and was replaced by a video of the vice president.

He was wearing a grey suit and he said, "This question has been posed to our government and we are currently working on finding a solution. President Kisame himself said that he had a plan and it would be implemented soon."

In his house, Kisame turned off the television and nodded to himself.

Yes… he did have a plan.

"#3, come here," he said absently and said guard came forward.

"What is it President Kisame?"

"I want you to set up a meeting with the world's main economic leaders. The more the better… I have a very important message and I need to deliver it in person," he said calmly, trying to hide his enthusiasm.

Two days later, Kisame was flown into Britain to hold a meeting with the other world leaders.

Representatives from China, Japan, Russia, the middle-east, most of Europe, Canada, Mexico and part of South America had shown up.

Turns out that #3 was quite persuasive.

President Kisame wandered up to the platform and cleared his throat, gathering the attention of everyone there.

"Hello and welcome to the meeting! I am President Kisame and I called you over here for a very important discussion."

He paused to look around and he was glad to see that they all looked rather serious and they did not seem too baffled by his appearance.

"As you may know, America's economy has not been doing so well and from past events, we know that it could cause serious issues for the rest of the world."

"Since we have recently converted from gas to more efficient sources, we have developed the technology to make that easier for the citizens. My offer is to sell and mass produce this technology to all of you so that we may all improve the environment," he finished with a fist in the air.

"Your citizens will be more accepting of you because you want to help the world and that will dramatically increase trade between our nations. Who is with me?"

The meeting room fell silent and a few hesitant hands went up.

Everyone looked around and a few more hands went up.

Kisame grinned and those who had agreed nodded back.

Soon enough, they were drawing up the details of their agreement and within the hour, news of the success at the meeting was all over the world.

What the Akatsuki members thought:

Itachi: "He did a lot of good for the world so I guess that through such improvement, he helped create peace. Kisame was quite well as a president."

Pein: "I am surprised by how much he was able to do in such a short amount of time. He exceeded my expectations by far… good job Kisame."

Konan: "Just like Itachi, he did not do much artistic work, but Kisame still managed to change a lot of things. Nagato and I always appreciate those people who have the power to persuade the common public to do well for the world."

Zetsu: "I was expecting him to do a bunch of stuff for the ocean but instead he focused on the environment? And he didn't even kill a single person! … I wanted some food!"

Tobi/Madara: "Purely from the point of view of a normal human, he did quite well as a president despite his appearance and odd mannerisms. However, from the point of view of my organization, he did nothing to further our goals and instead, he started saving the planet. He made many bold moves and his actions were admirable, but he was not acting like a true criminal."

Sasori: "Since I am a puppet, I care nothing for the environment, but I do respect his actions because they were very revolutionary."

Deidara: "...Nothing he did was interesting... All he did was harp about nature and change a bunch of things, but he acted so... human... He's half-shark and a ninja for goodness sake! … I wanted more action."

Orochimaru: "Scientific advancement is always good, but he should have been more focused on the 'health' and 'well being' of the citizens. Some experiments here... a few illegal surgeries there... and voila!"

Hidan: "I don't give a shit about the environment. It's all a load of crap! Booooooorrriiiiiinngggg!"

Kakuzu: "His plan to improve the economy was a little shaky, but it did the right thing. However, I was rather displeased when he sold all of the gas at once. He should have kept it for many years in the future so that when gas would be worth more than gold, America would be able to sell its supplies."

To be continued...

There! Kisame was president... and it went rather well...?

Orochimaru is next! ….Be warned... D:

Thanks for reading so far!

Rate and review!


	3. Orochimaru

Hello! This is the third chapter of 'Akatsuki for President' and this time, Orochimaru gets control of the country. Oh… it might not be _that _bad… Enjoy!

Orochimaru for President of the United States of America.

Acceptance Speech:

A male wearing an olive green top, black pants and an odd purple bow around his waist stepped onto the stage.

His golden, yellow eyes scanned the large, cheering crowd in front of him and instantly, they fell silent.

Orochimaru smiled and his tongue darted out to lick his lips.

The massive length of his tongue did not go unnoticed by the crowd.

"Good morning, America. I, Orochimaru, am your new leader!"

A few people applauded, but everyone was still trying to get over the tongue thing.

"You have no idea how much I wanted to do this- It's been a life long passion to be able to change the world like this," the snake-like man continued.

He looked up at the sun and his pearly white skin glistened.

"It's a beautiful day to be President. America is on the dawn of a new age and I can promise you that change will come. Your lives will improve greatly and the world will be unable to believe how prosperous America will be."

His smile widened. Yes, the world would be in shock.

"Thank you all for your votes and I will not let you down," Orochimaru finished and walked off the stage with a wave.

The crowd clapped half-heartedly; still unsure whether their new President was a human or not.

First Order of Business:

Orochimaru strode into the white house with a serious look on his face.

If this was to be his home, it would have to be perfect.

Fifteen minutes later, he had seen the extravagant luxury and thought he was pleased with the style, he found it a little useless.

All of the rooms were spacious and orderly- a little too orderly.

He walked back to the living room and there he met his guards.

There were five of them and they each donned a black suit along with a neat navy blue tie and white undershirt.

"President Orochimaru," they greeted.

"Hello guards… tell me your names," he commanded.

"I am #1," said the first guard and then pointed to the others in order, "That is #2, 3, 4 and 5."

The yellow eyed man raised an eyebrow. "Your names are odd, but if that is what you want me to call you, so be it."

"Is everything in the house to your liking?" #3 asked.

"Almost… the house seems to be lacking an operating room, lab and metal cages," he replied calmly; as if the things he had just said were normal.

His guards showed no reaction to his unusual statement and instead, #2 said, "Do you want us to build these rooms for you, Mr. President?"

Orochimaru nodded. "Yes, in the basement. I will draw up the plans and give them to you this evening. Construction must start immediately."

Then, he went to his office and took out a few blue prints of a lab, operating room and conjoined cages. He had planned ahead.

A few hours later, he had already memorized the layout of the white house and he was starting to feel at home.

However… he was feeling a little lonely.

"#5, I want you to go to town and bring me as many young boys aged 5 to 15 as you can. Tell them it is by order of the president," he said slyly.

Said guard nodded and went to get #4 as help.

They did not question why Orochimaru would want little boys, but they just did as they were told.

Half an hour later, their van pulled up and seven little boys came out.

Some of them were excited to meet the president, but others were a little grouchy from being taken away from their parents.

"Mr. President. We have found 7 boys for you," #4 said as he urged the boys into the house.

"Alright kids, why don't you go to the basement and I will meet you there shortly," Orochimaru said in a sickly sweet voice.

Some of them hesitated so he added, "There will be cookies!"

When alone with his guards, he whispered, "Now bring me 7 pairs of handcuffs, a whip and some rope."

Once again, the guards did as they were told.

Needless to say, those little boys were never the same after they left the 'kind' President's home the next morning.

President's goals:

"President Orochimaru I-"

The vice-president stopped when Orochimaru put his finger to his lips for silence.

"I will talk and you will listen," he said evenly, but everyone could hear the underlying threat.

"First of all, I have a few changes I want to see happen very, very soon. For one, all hospitals in the country will be converted to medical research institutes. Two, all American citizens must go to these institutes in order to get a surgical implant. Three, all boys between the ages of 5 and 15 must be sent to special camps where they will be trained to be proper test subjects."

The room went silent and everyone had figurative question marks floating above their heads.

Was he serious?

"I will take your silence as an acceptance of my goals. Now get to it, but keep this quiet because I do not want to public to get alarmed," he finished with a smirk.

One of the other members gathered his courage and stated the obvious, "That is insane! We cannot pass that because it's unconstitutional! Mr. President, will all due respect, you are crazy to even think of something like that."

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes and stood up from his seat.

His long tongue ventured out of his mouth and reached across the long table to lick the person who had dared to speak.

The poor man was so shocked he couldn't move.

The tongue continued to graze along the man's face as Orochimaru said, "Would you care to repeat what you said, sir?"

How he had managed to say something with his tongue sticking out was a mystery that no one ever figured out.

The man swallowed and stuttered, "Y-Yes, I was… I was saying that your idea was… uncon-unconstitutional."

"Really?" Orochimaru slowly replied- the tongue was at the throat of the man by now.

All the man could do was nod.

"Well, that's too bad… you did have a cute face," the snake-man man finished when suddenly, a sword came out of the tip of his tongue and stabbed the man in the throat.

He died instantly.

The other members gasped and some of them jumped out of their seats to start inching toward the door.

"Sit down," Orochimaru sneered and they cautiously did as they were told.

"Now, who else holds the same opinion as our bloody friend?"

No one said a word.

On the news:

"The President has made his first law changes this morning at a meeting. He showed how much he cared about healthcare so now, every hospital in the country is getting funding for restoration and improvement. We have not been told what the new changes will be, but citizens are pleased anyway."

The news reporter paused and continued after clearing her throat, "Also, scientists have discovered a new shot that can cure cancer! The President has ordered that all American citizens go to hospitals and get those shots."

"Finally, in a month, residential camps for boys will be complete and in them, all boys aged 5 to 15 will live. They will be taught for free and they will graduate this camp at 15. Thus, when they graduate, they will be free to get a job or go to university so this change is an improvement because it gives boys a stronger foundation for adult life."

In his home, Orochimaru turned off the TV with a large grin.

His plan was working perfectly.

All hospitals were being 'upgraded' into experimental labs, Americans would be going to those hospitals to get a 'cancer shot' and all little boys would be his!

He did feel a little dirty for faking the cancer shot thing, but he had to do what was right… 'Right' in his mind anyway.

When each person would go and get their shot, they would be injected with an experimental substance instead. Those people would then be asked to check into the hospital once a week to see how the substance was working.

It was perfect!

But the boy camp was his greatest idea. There, the boys would be taught obedience, loyalty and most of all, to hate women.

Orochimaru grinned and sank back into his spot on the couch.

Life was good as president.

What the citizens think:

A middle aged female reporter approached a woman with two small children about the age of 4.

"Hello Miss, can I ask you a few questions?" the reporter started kindly.

The woman looked at her children and tightened her grip on them before replying, "Yes, of course."

They exchanged smiles.

"Alright, I'm sure you've heard about all the new changes that President Orochimaru has brought in and we at Fox News are wondering what you think about it."

A thoughtful look passed on the woman's features and she said, "I'm glad that he invested so much money into hospitals and it's absolutely wonderful that they have found a cure for cancer. However…" her gaze wandered to her 4 year old son, "I'm not that happy about the boy camp."

"It seems sexist to girls… should they not be allowed in as well? And I don't like the idea of just sending my son off for ten years without any knowledge of what is going on inside those camps. I saw them building one at the edge of town and they have these huge cement walls… It looks more like a prison than a school camp."

The reporter nodded in sympathy. Luckily, her children had already grown past the age of 15.

"Thank you for your time and you are not alone. Many of the other women we interviewed had a similar point of view. No one seems to like the idea of school camps for boys."

She turned back to the camera and said, "There you have it. People don't like the president's idea."

Back in the studio, another reported answered, "Thanks for that update. In other news, there has been a strange outbreak in some cities."  
>"People's eye colors, skin colors and overall health have changed dramatically. Some people are unable to walk, while others have trouble speaking. We do not know the cause of this but we have been told that scientists are working around the clock to find a solution."<p>

What the Akatsuki members think:

Itachi: "He was a selfish president. All he did was use the money for the good of his sick research and in the process, thousands of people were hurt. No one was happy with his choices and he did nothing to change that."

Kisame: "Disgusting. All the stuff he did to little boys was just sick. I can't say anything else because it will just be negative."

Pein: "He did not bring peace and instead, he used the entire country as his guinea pig. It was not honorable and that was exactly why he was kicked out of the Akatsuki."

Konan: "I was not surprised by what he did. It was low and sickly- just like him."

Zetsu: "Many people died because of his experiments… that means I have more bodies to eat… but some of them made me sick because they were infected with weird diseases."

Madara/Tobi: "His methods and techniques were disgusting. He brought shame to the organization with his foul, pedophilic acts and I am ashamed to think that he used to be one of us. Though he acted like a criminal, which is what we wanted, it was still shameful and wrong."

Sasori: "I do not care about any of the people that Orochimaru ended up hurting, but I do understand that he did it for no reason. It was wasteful…"

Deidara: "I don't like Orochimaru… I never did… so by seeing what he did to America, my dislike of him grew. …I wanted some excitement but I was rather bored watching him kill random people and molest little boys."

Hidan: "What the fuck did he do? He poisoned a bunch of people and then he just left them! It was shitty and dumb! He's a dumbass!"

Kakuzu: "Nothing… he did absolutely nothing for the economy! It's not that hard! I thought he was intelligent enough to be able to figure it out, but he failed. I am not surprised though."

To be continued…

So… Orochimaru's rule of President is over and those poor people can return to their lives. Too bad a whole generation of little boys was scarred for life…

Anyway, Pein is next. It should be quite entertaining…?

Thanks for reading!

Rate and review!


	4. Pein

Hello! Today, Pein is up to be the president! Though his name is written as 'Pain' in the Naruto Manga, I'll be using 'Pein' because it is less confusing.

Oh and I want to send out a great, big Thank You for everyone that reviewed, favorited and alerted this story! It's great to have such wonderful support! :D

Pein for President of the United States of America.

Acceptance Speech:

A blank-faced man with multiple piercings and bright orange hair stepped onto the stage.

He looked calm and regal so he seemed more like a noble than a murderer.

When he came to stand at the podium a few girls swooned and some people clapped cautiously.

"I am Pein and I am the God who will free you from your misery," he started.

In the crowd, people raised eyebrows at the strange statement.

"America has been rained on for too long... I will bring peace!"

There was supposed an exclamation at the word peace, but his voice was so blank that no one really noticed it.

"There will be no more war and America will see everlasting sunshine. Now worship me! I am your savior!"

People just stared.

Pein's eyes narrowed at the crowd and everyone in the area felt a chill going down their spine.

"I will prove that I am a God," he said as he raised his hands in the air.

"Force Push!"

The stage blew apart and a large plume of dust enveloped the crowd.

Screaming broke out and some people started to run around and away from the 'beloved' president.

"It's the devil!" one loud-mouthed woman screeched and instantly, everyone else watching on TV agreed.

Had Pein not been as composed as he was, he would have smacked his face in annoyance.

Instead, he just walked off the stage with a sigh.

He would have plenty of time to convince all the others that he was God later.

First Order of Business:

Pein walked into his new home and barely glanced around.

He didn't even walk around to see how many rooms there were.

"Mr. President," began one of his guards.

"We are #1, 2, 3, 4 and 5," they introduced themselves.

The new president nodded and said, "You will call me Lord Pein and I order you to take out some money from the budget to post bulletins everywhere about how I am a God and the only one Americans will be allowed to worship is me."

The guards bowed and walked off to do what they were told. They seemed to be rather good at ignoring the oddity of requests and just carrying orders out.

Pein sat on the couch and closed his eyes.

Suddenly, the phone rang and his head snapped to look at the thing.

He picked it up and said, "Lord Pein, speaking."

There was a sudden intake of breath on the other line before the person screeched, "How dare you call yourself a Lord! You're not a god! You're a sham and you are blinding Americans from the true Lord! Devil! Devil! You're the DEV-"

Pein hung up.

He rubbed his temples and briefly wondered how that person had gotten his number.

Pushing the event to the back of his mind, he closed his eyes again and decided to take a quick nap.

"Say no to Pein and yes to the true Lord!"

His brow furrowed as he begrudgingly opened his eyes again.

"Pein is vain! He is alone and insane!"

He walked over to the window and shifted the curtain aside. Where was that insulting yelling coming from?

"He is a sinner and a big fat lie spinner!"

Just as Pein saw the large yelling mob on his yard, his guards walked into the room.

#2 said, "We delivered the message to the people and they gathered in groups like that one."

The President closed the window and said in monotone, "Capture everyone in that mob and have them interrogated. Ask them who their leader is."

Once again, the guards did not question their boss and went to get large nets.

A few hours later, the guards came back and #3 said, "The mob people said that their leader was the Lord Almighty."

Pein's eyes were narrowed. "Who is this lord?"

"They said he is in a place called heaven and that he created the universe. They even have a book," #1 said as he held out the bible.

The President took it and flipped through the pages briefly. "Your next assignment is to find how to get to this 'heaven'. I must have a talk with this 'Lord Almighty'."

President's Goals:

"Mr. President... I mean, Lord Pein, what are your plans for the budget?" the vice-president stated as he gazed at the president's odd attire.

Pein was wearing a black cloak with red clouds on it, which was nothing close to a suit that most presidents wore.

"You will gather all military forces in the Middle East and remove them. When we are there, we create disturbance. Let the middle-Easters solve their own problems," he said tonelessly.

There were a few murmurs of agreement and disagreement, but they fell silent as he continued.

"Then you will take those forces and get them to develop technology that destroys rain. There will be no more rain on American soil."

This time, there were definite whispers of disagreement.

"Lord Pein, the troops in the Middle East have worked very hard... they need to finish their mission. As for the no rain idea, how will farmers water their crops without rain water?" one of the ministers said.

"I am the one in charge so you will do as I say. When I say remove the troops from the Middle East, you will do as you are told," his voice was calm, but there was a small hint of a threat.

Pein paused to think and then continued, "The water will be gathered from the clouds. That water will then be used for farming, but in a more organized manner. When rain falls, it does not always go to farms, but with the new techniques, there will be more economy."

Some of the people that had originally been against the plan stopped the reconsider.

"What about the wild life? They will need rain to survive. And the money... this will cost too much. Too many people and too much of the budget will have to be directed there. Education and healthcare will suffer!" one of the ministers yelled in annoyance.

With narrowed eyes, Pein restated, "You will do as I say."

"Now go. I want this to start right away."

On the news:

"Breaking news! Our sources have just informed us that President Pein has ordered all the troops in the Middle East back to America. Also, the army has been commanded to move out into the air."

The news reporter cleared her throat and continued, "Citizens worry of an attack or a possible war to break out. Why else would the president want the army to mobilize?"

"We will have more information after the commercial break."

After five minutes of McDonald burger ads, the news was back on.

"More news has come in, but it is not what we had expected. The President mobilized the army because he intends to stop all rain in the country. Using new technology, rain clouds will be collected and that water will go to farms and other plant areas. That way, water will not be wasted and the citizens will not have to deal with rain."

"Some are outraged by this interference with nature, but others consider this to be a good idea. Public opinion is torn."

"In other news, mobs of religious protestors gather around churches. They are against President Pein's statement that he is a God. We do not know what the President's response to this is."

At home, Pein turned off the television.

Things were working out, but the issue was that few seemed to be accepting him a God.

He would have to change that- fast.

"Guards," he stated and all five of them appeared in front of him.

"I will hold a press conference regarding my Godly status. Organize it."

They left without a word and the meeting was scheduled for the next day.

Press Conference:

"Now, here is Pres- Lord Pein to speak to the nation," the vice-president announced.

Pein stepped onto the stage and instantly, he was blinded by camera flashes.

"I am Lord Pein," he started blankly.

He was about to continue, but suddenly, everyone started yelling.

"Why are you calling yourself a God?"

"Why are you obsessed with getting rid of the rain?"

"Did getting all those piercings on your face hurt?"

"What do you have to say about all the sudden forest fires that happened right after you ordered people to get rid of clouds?"

"Are you crazy?"

"Are you single?"

"Do you have piercings in other places that would be considered 'naughty'?"

"Why is your face so blank?"

"Are you a homose-" "SILENCE!"

Pein had his arms in the air and a dark shadow was on his face.

Dark, purple eyes glared out at the crowd as he said, "You will respect be for I am your God!"

"Now… cower in fear!" he yelled, "Force Push!"

People and their annoying cameras flew back with astounding force and Pein was left standing in a sphere shaped area void of anything.

Some yelled while others screamed and cursed, but Pein paid no attention to them as he continued his speech.

"Now, to prove to all the religious fools that I am truly God, I will go and speak with their leader 'Lord Almighty' and 'Jesus Christ.'"

He stepped out of the building and started floating up into the sky.

"I will go to heaven and speak with him in person!"

All around the world, people watching gasped.

Would Pein's journey to heaven prove or deny the existence of God?

Suddenly, a massive black cloud appeared and the sound of lightning crashed though the area.

"Pein! You have been foolish with your title as President! I, the Lord, am here to punish you!" a deep, booming voice proclaimed from the clouds.

Even though Pein was usually calm and composed, his jaw slacked at the sight.

"You are the lord," he stated before continuing, "But I am God! You will bow down to me!"

The cloud laughed and a huge bolt of lightning stuck out and right onto Pein.

He fell to the ground; all of his hair burned and falling off.

People in the area screamed while the religious people bowed down to the cloud.

Then, just as quickly as it had come, the cloud disappeared.

About an hour later, Pein became conscious again and stood up.

A small crowd was around him and one of the younger ones said, "Mr. President is bald."

There was a heavy silence as Pein jumped up and grabbed his head.

Bald… he was actually bald!

Embarrassed, he ran out of the crowd and all the way back home.

When he got there, he was met by his guards.

#5 was holding a wig and #4 was holding fake eyebrows.

"Lord Pein, you might need to hold another press conference."

What the Akatsuki members thought:

Itachi: "Pein's idea to make the rain stop was irrational because it caused more damage through forest fires than good. I, for one, enjoy the rain. However, I was amused when the 'lord' struck him with lightning."

Kisame: "He was bald! Hahaha! 'Lord' Pein was bald! What an idiot! _I_ wasn't that stupid… It was entertaining though. I wonder who will tell him that the cloud was made by one of us."

Konan: "I had expected more of Pein… I thought he would have done more to make peace around the world, but instead he became obsessed with his godly status. He deserved being bald after something like that."

Zetsu: "No one died… It was really boring. Was killing one or two people really that hard? It's not fair… I'm still hungry…"

Madara/ Tobi: "It was typical of Pein. He was ridiculous with the rain scheme and his foolish messing with religion was a waste of time. I am glad I made Kisame use a mist jutsu to make the cloud and that Sasuke used the lightning jutsu to hit Pein. Honestly, I thought Pein would have dodged it or realized it was us, but he seemed to have forgotten his ninja skills when he became president."

Sasori: "I still do not care. Nothing any of them have done brings me interest. Though, I was rather glad when the rain was gone. I do not like it when the moisture gets into my puppets."

Deidara: "Trying to get to heaven? Talking to god? What is wrong with Pein? I figured he was always level headed and that he would never try to do something so ridiculous. Too bad he got a wig… he looked really dumb with no hair."

Orochimaru: "He is supposed to be evil! Why didn't he do anything cruel and unusual? Well… he did blow a few people away, but none of them died so I really don't care."

Hidan: "The fucker was bald! Bald! What a fucking idiot! Why the hell didn't he notice our chakras in the cloud? Dumb ass… He should have known. Idiot shit."

Kakuzu: "Just like the others, he did nothing for the economy and he did not act like a criminal! Why does everyone turn all good? (Except Orochimaru)"

To be continued…

Pein's reign as president is over!

Next up, Konan will become the first female president of America!

Thanks for reading!

Rate and review!


	5. Konan

Hello! Chapter five already! Konan is up and she seems like the most normal out of the Akatsuki's. However, surely there is something to make her 'special'… heh.

Konan for President of the United States of America.

Acceptance Speech:

A relatively tall, blue haired woman stepped onto the stage.

Her face was blank, but it could be seen that she was a very serious and level-headed person.

She stepped onto the podium and looked over the crowd of people that she would govern over.

"Citizens of America, I am Konan and I will be your first female president," she started out evenly.

"Males have had the power for too long and we can see that this has lead to a large amount of damage and corruption. All of the war and violence in the world is to blame on the males."

A few women cheered, but the men grumbled.

"For too long, women have been put down by men, but it ends now! I will bring equality and freedom to us females and the world will see how much better life will be," she announced with great conviction.

The cheering from the women continued and the men fell silent; quietly complaining.

Konan nodded at the crowd and a small smile crawled onto her lips.

She gave one last wave to the crowd and stepped off the stage.

Change was coming, that was for sure.

First Order of Business:

Much like Pein, Konan walked into the white house and barely gave the luxurious mansion a glance.

She had better things to do than care about vain things.

"President Konan," one of her guards began.

Putting her hand in the air, she interrupted, "Simply call me Konan; I have no need for honorifics."

They nodded and introduced themselves to be #1, 2, 3, 4 and 5.

She said nothing about their names and instead changed the subject, "This house will be changed into a museum. I do not want to live here, but some revenue could be produced. Arrange this."

Konan then took a suit case with her belongings and walked out the door.

Her plan was to get some extra profit from visitors to the house and then donate that money to charity.

In the meantime, she had to find a new place to live.

She walked into the back yard and did a few hand seals.

Then, paper flew out of her sleeves in large quantities and formed a small cottage.

It was pure white, like the paper, but it could still be seen that there was a distinct design and that no detail was spared.

She opened the door and walked into her new abode with a small smile.

Her personality was much more suited for small, humble homes than large, extravagant mansions.

The guards followed her inside and stood dutifully by her side.

"Go back to the mansion," she said while unpacking her things.

They all simultaneously shook their heads and number four said, "We cannot do that. You must be protected at all times because it is always dangerous for the president to be alone."

There was a blank silence in which Konan turned to stare at her guards.

"Alright, then call Pein and get him to come here. He will stay with me and you will go back to the mansion," she negotiated.

The guards exchanged glances and obeyed.

This was the first time that one of the Akatsuki's was inviting someone they knew over.

A few hours later, Pein came into her small cottage.

"Sit," she ordered and crossed her arms.

He did as he was told, but gave her a curious glance. She had not told him the reason for his arrival.

"You have been running the Akatsuki, but instead, Madara got in and he messed everything up. However, now that I have the power, I will destroy all male power and I will hunt Uchiha Madara down."

In a room somewhere else, Uchiha Madara sneezed.

"Konan, you are being too drastic, you should think about this over night," he started out quietly; worried about her claim to destroy all males.

Her lips turned upward into a grin and she let out a large, maniacal laugh rivaling that of the Joker.

Pein stifled a dramatic gasp at the discovery that his child hood friend had such an evil noise inside of her.

"Now… You are my bitch," she laughed again and jumped on the poor, orange haired man.

President's goals:

Konan had a large smile on her face as she sat down in the President's chair in the meeting room.

This whole 'I am in control' thing was suiting her perfectly.

The other members had already introduced themselves and they were waiting for her to state her goals for her reign as president.

"As I mentioned in my acceptance speech, I would like women to have more power in the country. Thus, I am raising the amount of money that a woman makes to be the same amount as a man. Also, I will be personally firing many men from high power positions and hiring women instead."

She paused and tapped her fingers on the desk.

"As for the budget… we will be using it to make a special group of the country's most skilled assassins and we will hunt down Uchiha Madara."

Once again, in another room somewhere far away, Madara sneezed.

The other members exchanged confused glances and one of them spoke up, "Who is Uchiha Madara?"

"The devil," she replied curtly, "He plans to destroy the world and gain control of all the people's minds. I intend to stop him and the group I was referring to will do that for me."

They still looked confused so she continued, "He is not from around here and that is why you have never heard of him."

"President Konan, if you can prove to us that he is truly a threat to the world, we will do as you say," the vice-president said.

She nodded and smiled again before pulling out a portfolio full of papers.

"I got this from his office. Here are the blueprints for the Moons Eye Plan and a list of his associates."

Of course, her and Pein's names were no where to be found on these documents.

The others began reviewing the papers and slowly, they came to agree with Konan.

Madara was indeed a threat to global security and he had to be stopped.

On the news:

"We interrupt this television program for breaking news," a reporter announced as all the TV screens in the country donned a sign saying 'breaking news.'

"A manhunt for a man named Uchiha Madara has begun today and we want to inform the public that he is a major threat. This man is a murderer and he plans to take over the world using 'tailed beasts'. We assume this means cats, dogs and yes, even fish."

"Anyone with information on this psychopath is encouraged to step forward. He has already murdered a tribe of people called the 'Uchiha' and he will not stop there!"

"Expert artists have come up with a sketch of his appearance," the reporter continued and a rather ugly picture of an old man with large wrinkles came into view.

"However, he could also look like this." This time, a picture of a young man with long black hair and red eyes showed up on the screen.

"Finally, he could also look like this." A large, orange masked head with short black hair came into view.

"His personality is described a cold, aloof and sadistic, but he could also be cheerful, happy and very, very bubbly."

Clearly, the reporter did not know that the latter characteristics did not belong to Madara, but rather his retarded counterpart, Tobi.

"Please keep your eyes open for this person and call the number on your screen if you have any information," the reporter finished and pictures of Madara's face came onto the screen again.

In his hotel room, Madara turned off the TV is disgust.

All the pictures they had shown of him were completely wrong!

"Stupid Konan," he muttered under his breath and ran a hand through his hair.

Now what was he supposed to do?

He couldn't go outside with or without his mask on and he knew that it would only be a matter of time before a group of humans showed up at his door to try and kill him.

Putting his cheery, orange mask on, Madara grumbled about how bad his day was.

Then, he sat on his couch and waited.

Just like he had predicted, a knock came at his door shortly.

"Uchiha Madara, come out with your hands in the air or we will shoot you!" the voice of a police officer speared through.

…shoot?

Madara furrowed his brow and vaguely remembered that humans in this world had guns, which were not exactly a ninja's best friend.

Sure, he could phase in and out of reality to avoid the bullets, but still, the hassle was unseemly.

"That's it! We're coming in!" the police officer screeched and kicked the door down.

Instantly, ten different guns were aimed at his head and several people yelled at him to put his hands in the air and lie down on the ground.

Sighing, Madara took a deep breath and in his Tobi voice, yelled, "Tobi is a good boy!"

The officers faltered.

"So many people are in Tobi's room! Would you like some cookies?" he continued to yell in a high pitch tone.

"I said get down on the ground!" one of the officers finally snapped out of their shock and lunged at the masked man.

The officer flew right through Tobi and the others' mouths flew open.

"Opps! Officer-man fell on the ground!" Tobi screeched before jumping up and down.

They just stared at him.

"So… no cookies?" he said finally and then shrugged.

"My God, this man is insane… they called the wrong people to take him in," the officer in charge said suddenly and then ran out of the door.

The rest followed suit shortly after and they even had the decency to close the door after them.

Madara sat back down on the couch and took of his mask.

That had gone quite well.

At the mansion:

Guests were filing in and out of the mansion and Konan watched with a smile.

They were making a huge amount of money and she intended to donate all of it toward an orphan charity.

Satisfied, she walked back to her small cottage and sat down on a chair.

This whole 'president' thing was working out a lot better than she had originally planned.

"Konan!" one of her guards yelled and instantly got her attention.

"The police have found Madara's hotel room, but when they came in he claimed to be Tobi. They left and are currently awaiting your orders," # 4 said.

Her smile turned into a grin. "They will do what should have been done all along… sent in the mental institute guards."

Back with Madara:

Madara had been happily watching the foolish humans speculate about him on television when suddenly, a group of large men wearing all white ran into the room.

They did not even say anything as they jumped on him and stabbed him in the face with a needle.

He had honestly not been expecting it to be so quick, so he was rather surprised when everything started getting blurry.

"Get… off… me," he managed to growl in his natural deep voice before everything went black.

An unknown amount of time later, Madara woke up in a white room with a white ceiling, white floors, white walls and a white bed.

Needless to say, he was also dressed in white.

His head felt heavy as he stumbled up off the bed and to the door.

"Madara… you shouldn't be walking around. That horse tranquilizer we injected you with was quite strong," a voice said from an intercom by the door.

He paused. Horse tranquilizer? Why would they have injected him with something meant for horses?

The door opened with a creaking noise and a doctor wearing all white walked in.

"You have something called bipolar disorder. In short, you have a split personality. One is you, while the other is Tobi," he started to explain.

Madara growled. "I do not have a split personality. Tobi is just a disguise I crated in order to fool idiots like you. Now get out of the way; I am leaving."

The doctor did not move and continued, "Now, we have some drugs that can help you get over this, but first, there is someone here to see you."

Two guards came in and pushed him out of the room, down the hallway and into another one.

Why he did not fight was a true mystery.

"Hello there Madara. I have to say, white really brings out your eyes," a female voice said in front of him.

The Uchiha narrowed his eyes. "Konan."

She grinned and continued, "Yes, it's me, and I am so glad that you are finally getting treatment. Tobi was really freaking me out."

He growled again; becoming less and less civilized by the moment.

"I just wanted to tell you to enjoy you stay here and that it is all for the best," she said in a fake comforting tone before chuckling and walking out of the room.

Madara turned around to attack her, but suddenly, the guards had him pinned to the ground and another tranquilizer was in his neck.

This time, however, this one was for elephants.

Needless to say, Uchiha Madara did not wake up for a very, very long time.

What the Akatsuki members thought:

Itachi: "I do not like Madara so I was pleased to see him locked up. Now, he will be unable to kill anyone else. I do worry about what he will do when he gets out, though."

Kisame: "Hahaha! Madara's in a mental hospital! Classic! Konan, you did a great job by making Pein your bitch." *wink wink*

Pein: "…I was embarrassed by Konan's actions and I need to clarify what actually happened in her cottage. Unlike many of you perverts believe, I was not raped or turned into the 'bitch'… we did… stuff…but I will not elaborate further."

Zetsu: "Tobi is in trouble! We have to save him from the clutches of those evil humans… We like Tobi better than Madara so we would like Tobi to become the more dominant part of Madara."

Tobi/Madara: "What the hell! I, the great Uchiha Madara, do not deserve to be in a mental institute! Tobi is not the result of a crazy disease- I _made_ him! How dare Konan undermine me like that? Now, I finally have a reason to hunt her down and hill her…"

Sasori: "I do not have emotions, but I still found that quite entertaining. Madara's pride was too large so he deserved being put down for a while."

Deidara: "That was great! Now they just need to keep Tobi in there for a really, really long time so that I don't have to be around that crazy idiot! I knew he was insane from the start!"

Orochimaru: "I, like any other scientist, get a little curious about the social sciences and I found it very amusing to see Madara in such a setting. In fact, it seems to suit him rather well. Hmm… this would be better if I was the doctor who was in charge of his 'treatment'."

Hidan: "That stupid shit Tobi deserved it… Finally, I can walk into the kitchen and not be assaulted by his freakish presence."

Kazuku: "Konan was President so I will not say anything about Madara… though most of the other Akatsuki's did… She did alright by not causing any riots or murders so out of the others so far, she did the best."

To be continued…

Wow! Poor Madara… stuck in a loony bin. This was probably one of my favorite chapters so far, though.

Next up is Sasori and though he is calm, everyone seems to have a twinge of insanity in them.

Thanks for reading!

Rate and review!


	6. Sasori

Hello! This time, Sasori the emotionless puppet gets to be President. Wait, since he's not really alive, is that legal? Eh, no one has no know.

Sasori for President of the United States of America.

Acceptance Speech:

The crowd was cheering and there was orchestra music in the background as people waited to see their new president.

There was a small clicking noise and a large, shadowy figure blundered onto the stage.

It was covered in a large, red cloak and it was slouched down.

Eight, spider like legs could be seen and instantly, all cheering and music stopped.

"Humans," the creature spoke in a booming tone as it threw off its cloak.

"I am your President- I am Sasori of the Red Sand," it continued and stood up on the four hind legs.

Those afraid of spiders passed out and those afraid of puppets fell on top of them.

"I will be the perfect president for your foolish little country because I will not let emotion get into the way of my decisions."

A few people clapped; not really sure if that was a good thing or not.

"Art is eternal and I will make America have a permanent place in the world," the red haired man continued from inside his puppet.

"Now… we will all make art together!" Sasori announced and suddenly, hundreds of puppets burst from inside the stage.

They went straight for the crowd and within a matter of minutes, the entire crowd was surrounded by immortal puppets being controlled by their new President.

The puppets knocked out their victims and Sasori let a rare smile go on his face.

He now had many new puppets to work on.

First order of business:

When Sasori and his hoard of puppets carrying victims arrived at the white house, the guards looked rather confused.

"President Sasori, did you kidnap all those people?" #1 asked after introducing the other guards as #2, 3, 4 and 5.

The red haired man walked past them and into the mansion.

He had no time to waste talking to humans.

"Are you going to make them puppets?" the persistent guard continued.

Then, Sasori turned around and instantly, he was in front of the guard.

"You have a nice face, but a poor voice. Perhaps I should make you a puppet as well," the red head mused out loud.

Despite having been through military training and multiple emotion controlling courses, the guard paled and stepped away from the puppet man.

"Fear is unacceptable," Sasori said before hitting the guard in the back of the neck.

He fell to the ground and another one of Sasori's puppets came to drag the body away.

#2, 3, 4 and 5 just stared in blank horror.

"Are any of you afraid of me?" Sasori said carelessly.

The guards did not reply, but instead they changed the awkward subject by saying, "Is the house to your liking?"

The red haired man looked around briefly before stating, "No. There is mold in the walls and I can already tell that this place will fall apart under the slightest pressure. Thus, you will tear down this house and build three warehouses in its place."

This time, #2 took the turn of speaking. "Mr. President, with all due respect, we cannot do that. The house has to be here for when the other Presidents have their turn to rule. We can however, build the warehouses in the backyard."

Sasori nodded and walked off to take care of his puppets.

With the fearsome man gone, the guards were able to exhale a breath.

"We have to save #1," said #3 suddenly.

The others agreed with him whole heartedly. Without #1, they were incomplete.

They spent the rest of the evening building warehouses and plotting how the get their friend back from the blank, yet evil monster named Sasori.

President's goals:

Sasori was alone as he walked into the meeting room.

His guards had chosen to stay back at the white house to keep building and he was fine with that. He did not need them to hinder him.

"Mr. President. How nice of you to join us," the vice-president said as he gestured for Sasori to sit down at the front of the room.

The red haired man sat down and said, "For fair warning, I must tell you that if any of you go against me, I will turn you into puppets."

There was a silence and no one said anything.

"With the money, I will build many new art museums all over the country. The museums you have now are not worthy of existence and they will be torn down."

Once again, no one contradicted him.

"Also, in order to free up the budget, all those in prison serving time will be turned into puppets. That way, money will be saved and criminals will get what they deserve."

This time, the vice-president spoke up, "President Sasori, we acknowledge your decision, but we have to make an amendment to it. We can turn people from prison into puppets, but how about changing it so that only people serving five or more years become puppets?"

Sasori looked thoughtful for a moment as he was actually considering the man's idea. "Yes. That is acceptable."

The vice-president took out a deep breath of relief. For a second he thought he was going to become a puppet.

"Now, we need to discuss what to do with health care and education."

Back at the white house, #2, 3, 4 and 5 snuck into the basement.

They had seen a puppet drag #1 in there and they were determined to save their comrade.

With the stealth of ninjas, they crept down the stairs and looked around.

Much to their dismay, the entire basement was filled with puppets, tied up victims and there was a small pile of gardening tools in the corner.

The gardening stuff really did not belong.

"#1," they whispered as they tiptoed around.

There was a muffled cry and they went right over to it.

"Shh, we're going to save you," #3 said in relief when he saw his friend.

They untied him from the wall and carried him back to the first floor of the house.

"Now what do we do? Sasori will suspect something!" #5 murmured.

"We have to hide him somewhere," #4 suggested.

They sat quietly and thought of the one place where a puppet would not look.

"Think like a puppet," one of them muttered quietly.

"Puppets don't like moisture," #1 announced suddenly.

"That's right! I know exactly where to send you," #2 said as he took out a plane ticket from his pocket. "This plane will take you to Florida's marshy lands. Sasori would never go there."

No one asked the guard why the ticket was in his possession, but instead, they said they goodbyes to #1 and let him go.

"…I wish I was leaving too."

In New York City:

"The President has announced that he wants all the citizens of New York City to come and meet in the downtown area because he has a special announcement," a news reporter said as she looked into the camera.

She was at town square, where thousands of people were gathering just to hear the President speak.

"We have been told that the President will give everyone, yes everyone, who comes a present so that definitely registered with the crowd," she continued with a wide smile. She too was excited about the prospects of a present.

"From what the helicopter can see, at least 100 000 people have gathered here today and there are plenty more on the way!"

As the reporter chattered on and people milled about the city happily, they had no idea what was happening right outside city limits.

Hundreds of thousands of puppets were surrounding the city and massacring all those in their way.

Sasori was at the forefront of the puppet army and even though he was a puppet, he was smiling.

All 9 million people living in New York City would be his puppets!

Then, Sasori ran ahead of the crowd and into town square, where the people were expecting him.

He was covered in blood and his puppet body had multiple knives and weapons sticking out of it.

Still, some people clapped at his arrival.

"Foolish, foolish humans. You came to get a present and here it is. My gift to the country is an army of 9 million puppets made completely out of all the citizens of New York City!" Sasori announced with his arms in the air.

The smarter people in the crowd started running away, while the less intelligent stayed around to discuss what Sasori had said.

"There is no escape!" he yelled and suddenly, a sea of puppets flooded the city. Everyone in sight was killed and dragged off to be turned into a puppet.

By evening, all 9 million people were gone.

The city streets were silent and only the occasional rat was seen scurrying the streets.

New York City was officially a ghost town.

On the news:

"Breaking news! Breaking news! We are getting reports of a mass genocide in New York City!" a frantic news reporter yelled into the microphone.

"From the helicopter, we can see that there is no one… the entire city is abandoned! There is blood everywhere… I can't believe everyone is dead!"

"Oh my God… I have never seen anything like this. This is the worst genocide to ever occur on American soil!"

"And the President! Is he among the dead?"

In the white house, #2 turned off the TV.

"President Sasori did that… What a monster," #3 whispered into the tense silence.

"We have to stop him. We are his guards and it is out duty to stop him from doing any more harm to the nation," #5 reasoned with a grim frown.

"Yes… that seems to be the case," #4 muttered and reached for his gun.

"But how? He is immortal."

"Maybe so… but he died somehow in the Naruto Manga."

The guards looked at each other blankly before running over to the computer.

The Naruto Manga had to have the key to America's survival.

Back with Sasori:

Sasori's puppets had laid out all 9 million bodies on a large field just outside town. There were so many bodies that many of them were just piled on top of each other.

Briefly, Sasori thought about singing a song of happiness, but then decided against it.

"9 million puppets… at my command," he whispered into the cold, chilly air.

As he looked out onto the sea of bodies, he wondered why he did not feel anything.

Shaking his head, the puppet master lifted his hands up and sent chakra down his many chakra strings to make his existing puppets start creating new puppets.

Suddenly, a stabbing sensation went through his chest and he stopped the chakra flow.

What…?

The red haired man narrowed his eyes and touched the place where his heart was supposed to be. It hurt.

With the pain gone, he sent chakra down the strings again, but just like last time, pain blossomed in his chest.

"I must have used too much chakra," he muttered with a hint of annoyance in his tone.

"President Sasori! Stop right there!" a voice yelled from above and Sasori looked up to see four of his guards in a helicopter.

They were holding guns and they looked intent to kill him.

Frowning, Sasori forced chakra into his puppets and ignored the wretched pain in his heart. Pain would never slow him down.

"We know what you did Sasori and we're here to stop you!" #2 yelled as he aimed his gun at Sasori's heart and pulled the trigger.

Just in time, the red head blocked with one of his puppets, which consequently cracked and broke because of the force of the bullet.

In exchange, Sasori sent his puppets flying right at the helicopter.

They latched onto the side and the added weight sent the helicopter crashing down.

The guards stumbled out and got their guns. They started shooting, but more puppets flew out and blocked their way.

Suddenly, a giant scorpion puppet jumped out of the mess and trapped #3 and 4.

#5 went to go help them, but he was grabbed from behind by a puppet.

#2 wasted no time and aimed to shoot at Sasori. Just as he was about to pull the trigger, a puppet landed on his shoulders and knocked him down to the ground.

Sasori walked up to the guards casually and said, "You foolish humans, you should have just stayed out of my business."

Though his voice was blank, Sasori was hiding a world of pain. His chakra was almost completely used up and he could barely think clearly.

The puppet master drew a kunai and was about to stab #2 in the head when suddenly, a thunder clap noise went through the air.

Sasori froze and a trickle of blood went down his chin.

He looked down to see a bullet hole in his chest and blood was quickly pouring out.

The guards stared in shock as the red haired man stumbled forward and then fell to the ground with a thud.

Without his chakra, the puppets fell down and the guards were free to move again.

"You honestly didn't think I would just leave you guys to deal with this on your own?" a male voice said and the guards gasped.

"#1!" they yelled in unison and ran over to embrace their friend.

"Sorry it took so long… we should have shot him before this massacre," #1 mumbled with a solemn frown.

"Humans, leave, I will take care of the rest," another male voice interrupted the reunion. They looked over to see Pein standing beside Sasori's body.

"I will use the Samsara of Heavenly Life Technique to revive everyone," the orange haired man continued and instantly, the guards cheered.

New York would be a booming city once more.

What the Akatsuki members thought:

Itachi: "I have committed mass genocide before, but I did it for a good reason. Sasori, on the other hand, had no reason to kill all those innocent people. I am glad that Pein revived them all."

Kisame: "Ouch. I was not expecting that to be so… violent. Sure, I knew Sasori didn't have emotions but seriously- all of New York? That was just too much… He should not have been so heartless."

Pein: "It cost me a lot of chakra to revive all those people and I do not appreciate having to fix Sasori's problems for him. I would have only expected such cruelty from Madara or Hidan, but not Sasori."

Konan: "I do not understand why Sasori did what he did. It as unreasonable for him to commit mass genocide like that. Though, I am glad Pein was able to revive all the people who did not deserve to die."

Zetsu: "This isn't fair! I got all excited that I would have 9 million bodies to chew on, but then leader-sama had to come in and revive all of them! I am so hungry!"

Tobi/Madara: "I have seen many things in my long life, but nothing like this. I doubt even Hidan could do anything close to the horrendous crime Sasori committed. Yes, we are criminals and it is our job to kill people, but they need to deserve it. The citizens of New York did nothing to warrant such brutality."

Deidara: "Wow! Danna was horrible! I figured he was just a crazy artist… I never thought he could be so evil! I don't know if I will ever be able to look at him the same again."

Orochimaru: "What a marvelous occurrence! Sasori seemed to have had some sort of psychological snap and as a result, he ended up killing all those people. I wonder what would have happened if that guard had not shot him… would he have kept killing?"

Hidan: "Holy shit! I don't believe it! Little snot Sasori actually had some crazy mass murderer in him! Wow… I am so fucking shocked!"

Kakuzu: "…Sasori was horrible. He made the worst decisions possible. By destroying New York, he cut a major source of revenue! All that money… lost! What a fool."

To be continued…

Wow… Sasori was a cruel President. I guess that's what happens when one has no emotion.

Next, Deidara becomes President! Gosh, it might just as bloody as Sasori's reign.

Any thoughts?


	7. Deidara

Hello! Thank you for all your wonderful reviews! It really makes my day :D

Today, Deidara is up to be the President! Hopefully, he won't be too crazy with the bombs.

Deidara for President of the United States of America.

Acceptance Speech:

A medium height, blond haired male strode out onto the stage absolutely brimming with confidence.

He looked out at the crowd with a large smile and said, "Hello America! I am Deidara- your new President, un!"

People cheered and females swooned at his girlish, yet masculine appearance.

"Your country is a perfect platform for my art and you will have a front row seat to the beauty of it!"

The art lovers out there rejoiced, but the less artistic kind weren't that excited.

"Art…" he started in a deep tone, "is a BANG!"

Just at that moment, there was a loud explosion and instantly, chaos appeared.

Several bombs had gone off and even though it was dusty, it could be seen that some people had been blown apart in the explosion.

People ran around and tried to call for help while others simply stood in place and screamed.

Humans really are not the most intelligent creatures during pandemonium.

Meanwhile, Deidara stood on the stage and laughed.

The timing had been perfect and the explosions had been absolutely beautiful.

Feeling fulfilled, he nearly skipped off the stage; eager for more explosions in the future.

First order of business:

The instant Deidara had seen the White House, he frowned.

"It's so plain… and white, un," he stated as he thought about how he would redesign it.

"It has to be bright and… artistic!" the blond continued with even more enthusiasm.

When he got inside, he barely looked at anything because he already had plans for the wonderful home.

After his guards had introduced themselves as #1, 2, 3, 4 and 5, Deidara began his long winded speech about art.

"This place… is a mockery of all the art in the world! There is no color, un! Art is a bang!" he yelled and the guards winced; ready for another explosion to go off.

"I will redecorate this place to my liking! And don't even get me started about the backyard! It is just a green field! There need to be statues and fountains and… statues, un," he trailed off.

Then, his eyes lit up again and he yelled, "Bring me paint! There has to be a large container of each color! What are you doing standing there, un? Go!"

Instantly, his guards left and Deidara was alone in his new abode.

He looked out the window and then ran out the door.

Then, he summoned a large lump of clay and started sculpting.

The entire backyard was free for him to fill with the explosive art pieces.

A few hours later, a truck pulled up at the front of the white house.

Deidara, who had been at the back sculpting the entire time, came to open the door.

His guards and about twenty workers came in carrying various buckets of paint.

The blond President watched in amazement as they carried in bucket after bucket into his new home.

When they were done, one entire room was filled with buckets of paint.

Deidara peeked into the room with a thoughtful look on his face.

Perhaps he had not thought this thing through.

Shrugging, he grabbed a random bucket of paint and walked into the living room.

Then, he made a dramatic war cry and chucked the bucket at the nearest wall.

Bright, yellow paint flew all over the place and hit most of the furniture in the room. His guards had a few yellow specks all over them, but other than that, they looked unfazed.

"That was awesome!" Deidara exclaimed and threw his hand in the air; expecting a high-five from his guards.

They just stared at him.

"You guys are no fun, un," he grumbled and went to go get another bucket of paint.

The new President spent the rest of the evening prancing around his new abode and chucking buckets of paint at the walls.

All of the furniture was ruined and buckets littered the floor.

Then, tired from ruining expensive furniture and antique items, the blond declared he wanted to go to sleep and promptly fell asleep on the couch.

His guards just stared at him blankly; not really sure whether to wake him up and tell him that he was lying on fresh paint and that it would ruin both his clothes and his hair.

President's goals:

Deidara was in a bright, colorful cloak when he stepped into the meeting room.

It had not been his intention, but during his redecoration the day before, he had covered all of his clothing with paint.

"Mr. President, welcome. I am glad that you were able to make it," the vice-president said before introducing all the other members in the room.

The blond walked over to his large, puffy chair and sat down.

"So… why did you call this meeting, un?" he said calmly. He was rather tired because he had spent the last two hours washing dried paint out of his hair.

"We need to know your goals for the country," another member said.

Deidara looked thoughtful for a moment before his eyes lit up and he announced, "Art!"

Everyone looked at him expectantly; waiting for more.

"I will make museums and there will be clay statues everywhere! Hm… about all those boring things like the economy and foreign affairs, I want you to do it the same way the last president did it, un."

The others nodded. Compared to the other Akatsuki members who had been in charge so far, Deidara seemed relatively normal.

Satisfied, the new President got up and walked out of the room.

He had to go buy new clothing.

Four hours later, Deidara was home and he groaned at the sight of the crazy colored walls and furniture.

"I want new furniture," he grumbled to his guards, who went off to do as he had asked.

Alone, Deidara just looked around again.

"Un," he said to himself as he thought about what to do.

He would watch TV, but it was covered with paint so that was impossible.

Suddenly, a phone call saved him from his boredom.

The blond eagerly picked it up. "President Deidara speaking."

"Deidara! Hello! Do you remember me?" a foreign voice with a thick accent spoke.

The blond's eyes lit up and he replied, "Yes! You're from the terrorist organization in the Middle-East!"

"I wanted to congratulate you with your new title as President," the fellow terrorist continued. "I also wanted to offer you a deal. Since you're a terrorist and I'm a terrorist, wouldn't it be easier for us to be allies?"

Deidara mused for a moment before saying, "Only if you answer this question correctly; what is art?"

"Art is a bang," the voice replied and the new President jumped with joy.

"Yes it is! Now I, the president of the USA am your ally!" he yelled into the phone.

On the news:

"We interrupt this television program for breaking news!" the announcer said with grave conviction.

"President Deidara has just announced that America will now be allied with the Middle-East. We do know what caused this sudden change of heart, but we are glad. America has always wanted to be an ally of the Middle-East."

"This eases the threat of terrorist attacks to the US, but other countries worry because the terrorist will have to choose a new target. Canada and Mexico are tightening security at airports," the reporter continued with a nod.

"In other news, paparazzi have noticed large amount of colorful furniture leaving the president's home. It is unclear whether this was an accident or the furniture was purposely painted."

"The paparazzi have also seen many statues in the president's back yard. Critics say the statues are amateur at best and it seems that the president made them himself."

Deidara turned off his new TV and frowned.

He now knew that paparazzi were just outside his house… watching him.

Shuddering, Deidara called his guards. They came quickly and he announced, "I want a fence around the house. Make it really tall and black so that no one can see over it."

Then he turned around and mumbled, "No one gets to judge my art."

Terrorist meeting:

President Deidara was positively bubbling as he stepped out of his limo and into a large warehouse.

Today was the day he got to see his terrorist friends in person.

Since he had joined the Akatsuki, he had not had time to visit them so he missed them dearly.

"Deidara!" a foreign voice announced happily.

"Mohammed, un!" the blond replied as he ran out to embrace his friend.

"You have been well! I see you are President now," Mohammed said with a pat on Deidara's back. "I have a surprise for you."

Like a little boy, Deidara's eyes lit up and he grinned from ear to ear.

"We have not blown anything large up since 9/11 so we thought it was about time to have some fun," the foreign man continued.

He led Deidara over to a large screen with a map of the world and several blinking dots on it.

"Each dot is a place where we have set up a bomb. It's your choice which one you want to blow up. We also have cameras set up so we can watch the whole thing!" the terrorist said as if they were not about to kill a lot of people.

The blond looked at the map carefully. There seemed to be a large amount of bombs in the US, but there was an equally large amount in China, Russia and Europe.

Africa, on the other hand, was void of any bombs.

"I want to hit South Korea, un! They keep resisting North Korea's communist control so I think they deserve it," Deidara said finally.

Mohammed nodded and agreed, "I never did understand why the last president kept defending South Korea. Communism is not the worst thing in the world."

They both chuckled and sat down in two extravagant, luxurious chairs. Mohammed took out a bowl of popcorn and handed a remote with a red button in it to Deidara.

"You get the honors," the terrorist said and plopped a few pieces of popcorn in his mouth.

The blond giggled with girlish glee and pressed the large, red button.

On the TV, they saw a whole building crash down and since the cameras were so high-tech, they could even hear the screams of the people.

For the next two hours, Deidara and Mohammed watched in glee as the world panicked and tried to figure out what had happened.

"This is so much fun!" Deidara said as he saw a team of American soldiers rush into the wreckage to pull out survivors.

"Yes it is… but I don't want it to end. Why don't we make this a sleep over?" Mohammed suggested with a grin.

Just like a girl, Deidara let out a high pitched giggle and hit Mohammed over the head with a pillow.

"I love sleepovers!"

It seems terrorist are not as serious as everyone paints them out to be.

What the Akatsuki members thought:

Itachi: "He killed a few people, but most of them were not from America so it is not too bad. I was rather surprised to see that he formerly used to have terrorist friends in the Middle-East. He seemed more like a solo person to me."

Kisame: "Dude! I had no idea that terrorist had bombs just hidden about all over the world! We're not safe! What if they have one in the Akatsuki base! I have to go look! There is no time to waste!"

Pein: "…Kisame just left… As for Deidara's reign as President, I found it entertaining. He showed his foolishness all too easily with the whole paint fiasco."

Konan: "He really did not do anything good for the world. He created mass panic in South Korea, but they did nothing to provoke him. His time as president was really a waste."

Zetsu: "I don't like eating bodies that have been blown up. They taste like dust and they are usually in many pieces so I have to waste my time looking for every part. Why can't anyone just kill someone normally?"

Tobi/Madara: "Deidara was rather predictable. He practically destroyed the white house, and he blew things up. Very, very predictable. However, all of this just confirms my theory that Deidara has attention deficit disorder."

Sasori: "Art is not a bang! It is eternal! The destruction he caused was a mockery of art and a waste of time. He used his power for foolish personal conquests rather than to change the world in a meaningful way."

Orochimaru: "Nothing he did interested me. He blew a few things up… destroyed a few things… I was actually rather bored. The girlish sleep over thing was a little confusing for me, though."

Hidan: "He's a fucking pussy! He did nothing! What an idiot!"

Kakuzu: "The economy did not change while he was in power. In fact, it actually got worse. Why can no one figure out what to do with their money? I am actually surrounded by idiots…"

To be continued…

Wow… Deidara actually caused a lot less damage than I had expected.

I do feel a little bad for the white house and how it got 'redecorated'…

Next up, Zetsu becomes the first bipolar-plant-thing to rule America!

Any thoughts?


	8. Zetsu

Hello! Zetsu is President today!

White Zetsu is cheerful and happy, while black Zetsu is more analytical and thoughtful.

Also, italics will be for Zetsu's other half, while normal font is for his normal half. Well, as 'normal' as Zetsu can get…

Zetsu for President of the United States of America.

Acceptance Speech:

A tall, green man with a Venus fly trap around his head walked onto the stage with an awkward shuffle.

He inched toward the stand and somewhere in the background, cricket noises could be heard.

"Hi," he started meekly and the crowd just stared at him.

"I'm Zetsu," he continued and gave a small wave, but that only seems to horrify the awe-stricken crowd even more.

"I'm your new Presi-_I will eat all of you,_" the white part interrupted lightly and at last, the crowd made a noise.

However, it wasn't exactly the noise Zetsu had been hoping for.

"It's a monster!" someone yelled among the unfolding chaos.

"No I'm not! _Yes I am… now prepare to be feasted on… To make this easier, why don't the chewy people step forward?_" he growled as he jumped down from the stage and into the crowd.

"You're ruining my speech!" black Zetsu announced and stopped in the middle of the audience area.

"_But I am so hungry!" _white Zetsu whined childishly.

"Resist your temptation you fool, we will get food soon enough," black Zetsu stated conclusively before starting to walk in the direction of the white house.

Surely there would be something to munch on there.

At the white house:

The guards stood by the door looking like martyrs.

After the whole ordeal with Sasori, they were not too excited to stay with another Akatsuki member.

Plus, they did not want to get eaten.

There was a knock on the door and they tensed up before sending #1 to open it.

"Welcome to your new home, President Zetsu," they all said in unison; their fake smiles stretched across their faces.

"_Fooooood!"_ white Zetsu announced before pouncing onto the first guard.

In response, the guard let out a girlish screech while the other guards started wrestling Zetsu away.

The match lasted for a full five minutes until at last, #1 was freed from Zetsu's grasp.

Looking composed, the guards stood up and brushed themselves off; not bothering to help the President up.

"I apologize for that. _I'm not sorry,_" Zetsu said as he too banished the dust from his cloak.

"To avoid another conflict like this, _bring me flesh_," he continued as he walked over to the kitchen, opened the fridge and peeked in.

"_Why is there no human flesh in here?_ Why do you think- humans do not eat humans."

The guards watched the exchange with growing confusion.

They had been told that Zetsu was bipolar, but they had not been expecting the two halves to be so distinct.

"Mr. President. I hope you understand that we cannot get you human flesh because that would be illegal. It's called necrophilia," #2 said confidently, though he made no move to get closer to the plant-like man.

"_Then what will I eat?_" white Zetsu whimpered somewhat cutely.

"We could get you some beef. Hamburgers are a hit in America," #3 suggested.

Zetsu looked up from his fridge rummage and said, "Only if the meat is raw."

The guards smiled and ten minutes later, Zetsu was seated at the dining table with a plate of three raw burger patties.

He sniffed the food and poked it with his finger before bringing up a piece of it to his mouth.

Carefully, he licked it and then took a small bite.

Zetsu's eyes lit up and he yelled, "These are the best! _Beef is awesome bring me more!_"

Dutifully, the guards went to prepare more raw beef patties for the President. At least he wasn't craving human flesh.

Two hours later, Zetsu was sitting happily on the couch with his hands on his stomach.

Beef was the most delightful thing in the world and he even admitted that it was better than human flesh.

"Tomorrow for breakfast, _I want more beef!_" he said as rubbed his swollen belly. He had never eaten so much meat in his life.

The guards nodded and sent #5 to go buy more beef.

"…What other American food tastes that good?"

President's goals:

The vice-president gasped when she saw the President walk into the meeting room.

It was not because Zetsu was green, but rather, it was because Zetsu was… fat.

Just the day before, Zetsu had been thin, but now, his Akatsuki cloak barely fit him.

Ignoring the shocked stares, Zetsu shuffled over to a chair and set his plump rump down on it.

The chair sagged under his weight.

"Mr. President, we have called his meeting in order to discuss your goals with the budget. Do you have any ideas?" the vice-president said while she was internally trying to find a reasonable explanation for Zetsu's massive weight gain.

"Yes, _I have many ideas,_ we should set aside some of the budget in order to increase immigration _of chewy people._ We should also fund more studies on _me! _I mean, bipolar diseases," Zetsu stated.

All the while, he was hoping that the meeting would end so that he could go back home and have some more of those hamburgers. He was also talking a liking to fried chicken and French fries.

"Those are all good ideas and I assume that means that the rest of the budget will be the same as the last President?" another person in the room asked.

Zetsu nodded and everyone noticed his chin fat jiggling.

"Are we done? _I want to eat more burgers,_" he questioned.

The vice-president gasped and announced, "Eureka! You're so fat because you ate a tone of burgers!"

The plant-like man half whimpered half growled, "I am not fat! _Why are you so mean?_"

"I-I mean, yes, the meeting is adjourned," the vice-president hurriedly stuttered and cleared her throat.

With as much dignity as he could muster, Zetsu unpeeled his buttocks from the bottom of his chair, stood up, sauntered slightly and then waddled out of the room.

Everyone just stared at him and when he was far away, another member muttered, "Damn. I'm not eating any burgers any time soon."

On the news:

"Hello and welcome to Fox News. Tonight's top story is the disappearance of hundreds of cows from the area around the President's home," a news reporter said as if it was the most important thing in the world.

"Nothing but bones is left on farms and cow caretakers all over the country are worried that this is the work of some sort of cow eating monster. While no one has actually seen this monster, artists have come up with a sketch."

On the TV screen, a picture of a wolf with demon horns, red eyes, giant teeth and blood dripping from his jaw was shown.

"If you see anything like this, please call the authorities."

"In other news, the paparazzi have seen large amount of beef, chicken and French fries entering the President's house. It is unknown whether he is stocking up on these products or if he is ingesting all of them extremely quickly," the reporter continued with conviction.

"Once again, this is extremely important so if you have any information, call Fox news."

Zetsu stretched his hand out to his side to try and reach the remote in order to turn off the blabbering television.

He groaned when he saw that his fat fingertips were mere inches from the remote, but he was already completely out of energy.

His hand sagged on the couch so instead; Zetsu opened his mouth and dug his face into the plate of chicken wings on his stomach.

Luckily, his stomach was large enough to make it so that the plate was practically at eye level.

With renewed strength, Zetsu reached for the remote once more.

His hand landed on the remote and he dragged it closer to himself. Then, at last, he pressed the off button.

Now in peaceful silence, the plant-like man continued to consume his food.

Right at that moment, the guards walked in carrying another plate of food. "Mr. President, are you ready for another serving?"

The plant-like man nodded; though, his neck fat made the nod barely noticeable.

One of the guards brought the plate over and placed in on the President's stomach, while another took the previous plate and took it to the kitchen.

This was the fifth plate Zetsu had eaten so far and it did not seem like he was going to be stopping anytime soon.

However, the guards were perfectly content with stuffing Zetsu. After all, the fatter he got, the slower he got and thus, the safer the citizens of America would be.

Plus, it was fun to watch Zetsu grow before their eyes.

"I wonder if he's going to turn into the Hulk," one the of the guards whispered and the other snickered.

Meanwhile, Zetsu had somehow managed to turn the TV back on.

He was mindlessly flipping through the channels and looking for a show that catered to his interests.

Much to his dismay, all he saw was skinny waists, muscular arms, well-shaped butts, and a large amount of underweight models.

"Guards!" he blubbered; his voice was now much deeper and rather childish.

"I don't see any fat people of TV! And the fat people I do see are trying to be thin! I want to promote obesity!" Zetsu announced when all five guards had gathered.

They gave each other glances before suddenly yelling, "Rock paper scissors!"

Guard #3 lost and sighed. "Damn it, now I have to tell him."

"Tell me what?" the President asked with narrowed eyes; though, once again, the fat left the gesture unnoticed.

"Mr. President, obesity can lead to heart attacks and it is extremely unhealthy. Hundreds, if not thousands, of people die from it each year. It is a serious condition that needs to be treated and not promoted," #3 said and then took a step back in case the plant-like man was in a mood to 'shoot the messenger'.

"Heart attacks! Are you saying I could have a heart attack!" Zetsu jumped up from the couch and flapped his arms in the air, which was a considerable feat considering the fact that his arms were the thickness of his Venus Fly trap head.

"Why didn't you tell me that before you fed me that stupid meat! I am so-" Zetsu broke off suddenly and clutched his chest.

The guards rushed toward him to try and hold him up because he looked like he was about to fall. "Auugg... aahh...uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhmmmmm."

"Oh my god! I think he's having a heart attack!" #1 gasped and ran to call the ambulance.

However, because he had let go of Zetsu, all of the President's weight went unevenly to one side.

#4 tripped on the coffee table beside the couch and the other guards become unable to stop Zetsu from collapsing.

"Help! I can't breathe! He's so damn fat!" a distressed #5 shrieked from underneath of Zetsu.

The remaining guards hurried to his side and started trying to pull him out, but he was stuck. In fact, he seemed to be pulled in.

"The fat is sucking me in! I don't want to die like this!" #5 wailed as he tried to push himself away from the fat with his hands, but instead, his hands got stuck in between a flap of fat.

By then, the ambulance had arrived and paramedics came in.

"It's alright, the President is still alive," one of them said as he stuffed a tube down Zetsu's throat to help him breathe.

"Who cares about Zetsu! Save me!" #5 continued to screech, but now, only his head and shoulders could be seen.

Another paramedic handed #5 a breathing mask along with an oxygen tank. "This is all we can do for now until the crane arrives."

And with that, #5 sank into the fat and the oxygen tank follow suit shortly after.

The others just watched in shock before one of them asked, "Wait, crane?"

"Of course. You don't actually expect us to be able to carry that thing," a paramedic said as he pointed to Zetsu.

Fifteen minutes later, a crane and a truck arrived at the President's house. Part of the wall was removed and the crane dragged Zetsu over to the truck.

When he was loaded and strapped down, Zetsu was promptly taken to the hospital for treatment.

The next day, the guards came to visit #5 in the hospital.

He was suffering from mental trauma and a few crushed ribs.

Needless to say, #5 was never the same after that incident.

Zetsu, however, received liposuction and swore off beef for the rest of his life.

What the Akatsuki members thought:

Itachi: "That was absolutely ridiculous. However, I am glad that this happened to Zetsu because now, we might actually get some healthy food in the kitchen back at the base."

Kisame: "Holy crap! Zetsu actually went obese! I don't believe it! And the heart attack- haha! I laughed my ass off!"

Pein: "Zetsu actually did better than I had predicted. I thought he was going to eat everyone and kill innocent civilians."

Konan: "Wow... I was surprised. I did not know a person could become obese in such a short amount of time. I guess Zetsu is just special that way..."

Tobi/Madara: "...I am ashamed. I taught Zetsu better than to eat strange food and not take care of his health! Now how are we going to win the war if he is in the hospital trying to recover from a heart attack?"

Sasori: "It was amusing to watch Zetsu get fat. That is all."

Deidara: "That was... interesting? It was completely unexpected... Zetsu doesn't seem like the beef eating type."

Orochimaru: "Zetsu got a heart attack... Not very smart, but it could be of use to heart attack researchers."

Hidan: "Holy shit! A guard actually got sucked in by Zetsu's fat! That was gross though... I would never give up my perfect abs for food."

Kakuzu: "It was silly, to say the least. Zetsu was selfish and not even for a good reason. I will definitely do a better job!"

To be continued...

Wow... Zetsu was just a fail. ...I guess it's good he didn't actually eat any people, though.

Next time, Kakuzu becomes the President. In fact, he seems like the most normal President America could have...

Note: Unfortunately, I will not be doing Sasuke, Suigetsu, Karin or Jugo for President, even though they were temporarily part of the Akatsuki.

Thanks for reading!

Any thoughts?


	9. Kakuzu

Hello! This is the third last chapter of the story and this time, Kakuzu becomes President!

Kakuzu for President of the United States of America.

Acceptance Speech:

A tall, stiff man walked out onto the stage wearing a tight business suit and carrying a briefcase.

His hair was neatly tied back into a ponytail and his facial mask was gone, which revealed the many stitches and scars on his face.

He formally walked over to the centre of the stage, put the briefcase down and said, "Hello citizens of the United States of America."

"I am Kakuzu, your new President, and I will bring to this country to the dawn of a new age. Over the years, I have learned much about finances and I'm certain that I will be able to make America even more of an economical powerhouse."

"However, I have a warning for all the fools out there willing to challenge me; I am quick tempered and I will not think twice about killing any of you," he said with a dark glare.

"That is all," he finished as he picked up his briefcase and walked off the stage.

The citizens clapped as he left; confused yet happy that this President seemed relatively normal.

First order of business:

Kakuzu walked into the white house confidently. He already had a plan of what to do and all he needed was to tell the guards.

They welcomed him cautiously and introduced themselves to be #1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 before Kakuzu said, "Take me to the library."

When they got there, the new President was pleased to see that an entire very large room was host to an equally large amount of old books.

Seeing as he was fond of ancient books, Kakuzu sent the guards away with a list of things to do and then chose himself a book to read.

Back in the hallway, the guards looked over the list of thing they had to do.

They had to call a meeting of all the world leaders, send out a warning that school and healthcare budgets would be cut, and then go make some liver.

The last one really seemed out of place, but nonetheless, they obeyed orders.

In fact, they were actually glad to do something. After all, with the other Akatsuki members, they had been forced to try and stop them from killing or doing something highly stupid.

Kakuzu seemed much more… normal than the rest of them.

They split up to do the chores and for the first time in many months, there was peace in America.

President's Goals:

Just like the day before, Kakuzu arrived at the meeting wearing a business suit.

He gave each person there a formal handshake and even waited patiently as they introduced themselves.

Needless to say, the members were in a state of shock. No President had ever been polite enough to be so… President-like.

"Mr. President, would you please tell us your goals for the budget?" the vice-president said.

Kakuzu got up from his seat and replied, "Of course. I have prepared a detailed report and presentation on what I will do with the money."

Then, the stitch-faced man turned on a laptop and used a high tech hologram device to make a normal pie diagram appear.

"Currently, this is what our budget looks like. There is a lot of money going to the army in various countries. Healthcare and education also cost us a lot. Finally, a lot of useless government beurocrats have high pay checks for just sitting around and doing nothing," Kakuzu began blankly.

"My plan is to make the budget like this," he continued and the pie shape changed on the hologram.

"We will withdraw all forces fighting in foreign nations, all schools will become private and all health care insurance will be abolished. Thus, the citizens will have to pay for everything that they want. Taxes will stay the way they are, but I will personally be reviewing a list of government officials and lowering their income or firing them. Plus, all donation groups will be outlawed. We do not need our money being wasted on people who cannot provide for themselves."

"Finally, I will be investing all the free money we have into the economy. My goal is to eliminate all unemployment by setting up government mega-projects. For example, because of rising sea levels, we need large damns and water barriers to be constructed in California, Seattle, most of Florida and parts of the east coast; including New York."

"We will also be building earthquake proof houses on the west coast and hurricane proof houses down by the Gulf of Mexico. In regards to international trade, we will try to establish Free Trade with Europe and Asia in order to lower exporting and importing costs. That is all," Kakuzu finished and shut down his laptop.

The other members stared at him with wide eyes and slackened jaws.

Then, the vice-president stood up and clapped her hands.

The others followed suit and soon enough, the entire room was filled with clapping and cheering.

Kakuzu just stared at them.

"Mr. President, that is absolutely brilliant! With your plan, our economy will continue to prosper!" the vice-president praised.

No other Akatsuki member had been so smart and tactical about the economy. Quite frankly, she had assumed that they were all mentally retarded to some degree, but now she knew that there was one non-idiot in their midst.

Kakuzu nodded, put down a written report of his plans down on the table and walked out of the room.

They were still clapping when he left.

Back at the White House:

The guards were all huddled around the television as they listened to what the President's plans were.

They were rather pleased to see that it was all rational and no crazy murder scheme was discussed.

"Finally, a normal President," #1 said with a smile.

"It's a miracle, really," #3 agreed.

"Then it's cause for celebration!" #2 announced. "Let's make Kakuzu a special dinner for being so smart!"

The rest of the guards quickly came to the same decision and they rushed to the kitchen to go make a feast worthy of a king.

There would be turkey, salad, mashed potatoes, lobster, samosas, lasagna and rice patties. For dessert, they would have ice-cream cake, lava-cake, fruit-cake, cheesecake and virtually any other cake imaginable.

However, there would not even be a scrap of cow meet anywhere in the meal. They had learned their lesson with Zetsu...

A few hours later, the large dining room table to decorated and filled with many, many plates of food.

The guards dressed in fancy butler attire and waited respectably around the table.

It was mid-evening so Kakuzu should be home any time soon.

They grinned at each other in expectation; all that food looked absolutely breathtaking.

Half an hour later, they were still standing and waiting.

"I'm sure he'll make it soon enough," #4 reasoned.

An hour later, the guards were sitting on the dining chairs.

"Any moment now..."

Another hour painfully crawled by and #5's hungry stomach broke the silence by growling.

"You're not the only one who's hungry,"#2 muttered.

On the third hour of waiting, #5 looked quite pale and the others were drooling quietly over the food.

It still looked so good...

In a trance, #5 reached out to grab a piece of turkey, but #4 smacked him on the arm. "Resist your temptation! I'm sure Kakuzu will be back soon and then we can all eat together," he said; all the while fighting the urge to jump on the table and sink his face into the salad.

An hour later, the guards were sprawled on the floor with dead expressions.

They had decided that looking at the food was too tempting so they resorted to being close to it, but not being able to see it.

"I can smell it..." #2 whispered and took a deep breath.

"Me too... Can we just have a small bite; I'm sure Kakuzu won't notice," #1 suggested with a cackle.

The others raised an eyebrow at the cackle, but then sighed. "We can't... we have to be patient."

Two hours later, #2, 3, 4 and 5 were asleep on the floor in the living room.

The smell had proven to be tempting as well...

#1 glanced around the room and his eyes landed on the clock.

It was midnight.

He took one look at his sleeping comrades and grinned.

Then, with the stealth of a ninja, he crept into the dining room with a look of pure evil. "Mine..."

His hand stretched out toward the ice-cream cake and he licked his lips.

"Finally, after such a long time, I can eat you, my precious," he whispered as he stroked the cake with his finger.

"HE TOUCHED IT!" a voice shrieked suddenly and #1 jumped away from the cake. It was just in time because #3 flew out of the living room and onto him.

They both fell to the ground and #3 grabbed #1's hand before licking the finger.

By then, the other guards had walked in and they gasped at the scene.

#1 was just as horrified as the others at #3's odd action.

Said guard stood up and licked his lips. "What? There was icing on his finger...," #3 trailed off.

"What! That's not fair! Why do you get icing and not us?" #2 yelled and pointed an accusing finger at #3.

"Because I was only pretend sleeping while you idiots actually fell asleep," #3 said smugly.

"I wasn't sleeping either!" #1 announced and they glared at him.

"But what do we do now? The cake has been ruined!" #5 said as he gestured to the long finger mark.

"I'm sure Kakuzu won't notice if it's gone... after all, he doesn't even know it's here now," #4 reasoned with a smile.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" #3 said. The others grinned at him and made a move closer to the cake.

They looked like bloodthirsty murderers as they dug their hands into the cake and mercilessly ripped it apart.

Five seconds later, the cake was gone and they proudly looked around the room.

Suddenly, #1 gasped and pointed at the salad, "A piece of cake got into the salad! Now it's ruined too!"

"You know the drill..."#3 said as they all jumped on the salad.

"There's also food on the turkey and the other cakes... and the lasagna!" #4 said as he grabbed a handful of salad and rubbed it against said food items.

"I call lasagna!" #2 yelled. "What? I want some too!" #1 replied.

"No it's all mine!" #2 said as he grabbed the plate of lasagna and started stuffing it in his mouth. #1 jumped on him to try and wrestle some of the food away.

Meanwhile, #5 was inching toward the turkey and he managed to rip a leg off. "Hey! I wanted that leg!" #4 announced and jumped onto the table.

"YOU STEPPED ON THE CHEESEAKE!" #3 hollered and also jumped on the table.

...And then all hell broke loose.

In the morning:

Kakuzu sauntered into the white house. He clutched his head and groaned at the blistering head-ache he was currently experiencing.

He had no idea what had happened last night and judging from a hickey on his neck, he did not want to know.

No one greeted him inside so he decided to investigate.

The kitchen and living room looked alright so he walked into the dining room.

His eyebrow rose when he saw... 'it'.

So he had not been the only one doing something completely and utterly ridiculous last night.

His guards were sprawled in various parts of the dining room; completely covered in food.

#1 and #2 were under the table with some sort of messy noodle dish all over their faces, while #3 was in the corner snoring on top of a pile of at least five different cakes.

#4 was laying on a turkey with a leg bone sticking out of his mouth.

#5 was on top of #4 and he had a handful of turkey in his hand.

There was also food all over the walls and the table was a horrible mess with footprints all over it.

"What the hell did you idiots do in here?" Kakuzu growled, but then winced at the pain in his head upon hearing his own voice.

The guards collectively groaned as they opened their eyes and tried to figure out why they felt so sticky and... edible.

"Mr. President!" #1 yelled as he jumped up from under the table and stood up.

The others realized who it was as well and briskly picked themselves up off the food and tried to look normal.

"Answer me," Kakuzu growled and they all scrambled the remember the question he had posed earlier.

"Um... We were planning a surprise dinner for you, Mr. President," #3 spit out.

"Oh... yes, I am quite surprised," Kakuzu muttered.

"But then it all went wrong when #1 molested the cake!" #3 continued with a shriek.

Kakuzu flinched and covered his ears at the noise.

"I did not molest it! I stroked it!" #1 yelled back with a glare.

"And then #5 took my turkey leg!" #4 added to the noise and #5 defended himself with, "Finders keepers losers weepers!"

"That only applies to children-" "You stepped on my cake-" "I wanted the lasagna too!" "But I got it first!"

"SILENCE!" Kakuzu yelled suddenly and all noise ceased.

"I don't care what you did with the food- Just clean it up and do it quietly... My head is killing me," the President glowered and stumbled into the living room.

"And get me some damn aspirin or something!"

The guards quickly did as they were told, but not without casting each other dark glares first.

Meanwhile, back in the living room, Kakuzu turned on the television.

"We now return to breaking news coverage!" a shrill voiced reporter said.

The President lowered the volume, but continued to listen.

"We have shocking video of what the President did last night!" she continued. "The paparazzi saw President Kakuzu entering this large casino yesterday at 6:30p.m. They followed him and they watched in shock as he got drunk."

Kakuzu paled as he watched video of himself drowning multiple bottles of vodka and other types of alcohol.

Then, his horror grew as he saw several hookers come up to him and he paid them. So that's where the hickeys were from.

However, the most shocking part of the video was when Kakuzu started playing poker. "That," the reporter said as the camera zoomed in, "Is a credit card that holds all of the money that the country of America has..."

In Kakuzu's head the dots connected just as the reporter finished, "All the money is gone! The country of America is officially broke!"

All around the country, people's jaws dropped.

Suddenly, there was snickering and Kakuzu turned around to see #3.

"Who's the idiot now?"

What the Akatsuki members thought:

Itachi: "Kakuzu was foolish, to say the least. He actually got drunk enough to loose all of America's money in a casino game..."

Kisame: "Wow... That was odd. And here I thought that the guards were the only crazy ones in this chapter."

Pein: "That is it. Kakuzu is no longer the official treasurer of the Akatsuki. ...And alcohol is now prohibited... I do not want this kind of mess to happen back home."

Konan: "I expected Kakuzu to do a lot of things, but not this. He seemed to sensible about the money, and yet this happened."

Zetsu: "The food fight looked fun! I wish I had been there! Oh and Kakuzu was really strange, he should stay away from the alcohol, I guess."

Tobi/Madara: "Ridiculous. After all that complaining about how stupid the rest of the Akatsuki were with the money, he went a blew it all. Regardless, some of the ideas he had before he got drunk were somewhat useful."

Sasori: "I was surprised and that is a lot coming from me."

Deidara: "The guards failed at the food fight; they should have blown each other up instead! Kakuzu, however, failed much, much more than them."

Orochimaru: "It was funny to watch those guards fighting with the food... It was so sexy the way #3 licked #1's finger... I want to try that with Sasuke later." (Of course Orochimaru would make something as innocent as a food fight into something dirty.)

Hidan: "...What the hell? After bitching so much about the economy, he got drunk and shitted the money on hookers and poker! Even I wouldn't do something so fucking stupid."

To be continued...

Kakuzu was... odd... but then again, what could have been expected considering he was surrounded by lunatics 24/7.

Hidan becomes the President in the next chapter and let's just say... he is... well, for lack of better terms, Hidan.

Thanks to all those that stuck with this story so far!

Any thoughts?


	10. Hidan

Hello! We're getting closer to the final chapters! This is the second final chapter, but since Hidan comes to power, be prepared for… well… swearing and violence.

Hidan for President of the United States of America.

Acceptance Speech:

The new President was heard long before he was seen.

"Hey there motherfuckers! I am the new President!" a voice yelled from somewhere behind the stage.

People frowned at the curse words and protectively covered the ears of their children.

A white haired man wearing nothing but black pants and a three pronged scythe ran onto the stage and yelled, "I am Hidan, bitches!"

Some grumbling came from the crowd at the man's profanity. "This is so cool! You all look like fucking ants from up here!"

Hidan stopped pacing and stared straight at the crowd.

He was actually looking each person in the eye and looking for fear.

"You're afraid!" he yelled suddenly and jumped down from the stage with his scythe in hand.

A woman screamed as he jumped on her and mercilessly cut her head off with his scythe. "Fear will get you killed!"

Then, he proceeded to jump on the nearest people around him with a murderous grin on his face.

People all around the world watched in horror as Hidan killed person after person without any hint of stopping.

Someone tried to call the police, but they got their head cut off before they could do anything.

Soon enough, the entire area was just a wasteland of bodies and the only people standing up were Hidan and a little boy.

The little boy sniffled and tugged on the sleeve of his mother, who was lying on the ground face down.

"Mommy… are you okay?" the child whimpered as Hidan advanced.

"Your mother is dead you little shit! Now I'm going to sacrifice you to Jashin!" the white haired man yelled as he stabbed the boy with his scythe and then licked it.

The boy fell down crying while Hidan turned black and white with skeletal features.

Then, Hidan stabbed his leg and the boy cried out in pain.

"Stop!" he yelled but it was pointless.

The Jashinist then slit his throat, which caused the boy to go mute and fall to the ground shaking.

Hidan let out an animalistic scream as he finally stabbed himself in the heart.

The boy lay still as a trickle of blood went out of his mouth.

"Hahahahahahahahahaah" the white haired man announced as he pulled the weapon out of himself and let his body be bathed in blood.

He looked out onto the carnage he had caused and grinned.

"I am so fucking doing this again!"

First order of business:

"Slaves! I am home!" Hidan announced as he kicked the front door of the white house open and barged in.

The guards sighed and #1 said in monotone, "Welcome home, Mr. President. We are your guards. I am #1, this is #2, 3, 4, and 5."

At first, they had been excited about the prospects of being the guards of the Akatsuki Presidents, but it had just gotten so horrible with all the murdering.

"It doesn't matter what your names are –You are all my bitches now," the white haired man said.

The guards did not fail to notice that Hidan was completely covered in blood.

"Please take a shower, Mr. President. We do not want all that blood to go on the carpet," #2 said despite the 'you're my bitch' comment.

"Fuck you! I don't want to shower!" the Jashinist proclaimed like a small child. Well, a small child that swears.

Hidan then proceeded to make a huffing noise and stomp all over the room.

The guards just watched the scene with a mix of sadness and boredom.

After all, they were the ones who had to clean up the mess.

"Is there anything else you would like to do today? You have a meeting in the morning so you might not want to stay up too late," #3 warned with a wag of his finger. He had a sneaking suspicion that with enough mothering, Hidan would listen.

"I am going to stay up! All night I'm going to pray to Jashin-sama!" the white haired man announced.

Following regular psychological procedure, #3 continued, "Alright Hidan. But that means you don't get any spare ribs in the morning."

Hidan froze. Spare ribs were his favorite meal in the world.

"But if I go to sleep… will I get ribs?" he said with an edge of hope.

#3 nodded. "Yes, but only if you go to sleep right now."

The Jashinist's eyes lit up and he ran upstairs to go to sleep right away.

When he was gone, the other guards looked at #3 with open mouths and wide eyes.

"How did you do that?" the asked in unison.

"Before I was a guard, I worked at the mental hospital for children that had severe anger issues. Hidan behaves like a child, so I just used his weakness," #3 explained calmly.

The others gave him a smile; glad that there was someone who could control Hidan.

President's Goals:

After much trouble and arguing, the guards had managed to convince Hidan to promise not to kill anyone at the meeting.

Thus, he was rather grumpy and came into the meeting room with a deep frown on his face.

"Make this quick because I don't know how long I can hold back from killing you shitheads," he muttered angrily.

"Mr. President, all you have top do it tell is what you want to do with the budget. Then, you are free to go," the vice-president said.

"Umm… I want to be on TV!" the Jashinist exclaimed suddenly.

"I want my own TV show and I will be the host!" he continued with growing enthusiasm.

"I'll have my own set and everything!"

The vice-president listened quietly before saying, "Alright, President Hidan, we will arrange for you to have your own TV show and we will call you when we are ready. You are free to go."

Hidan jumped up from his chair and ran out of the room.

"I'm free!"

On TV:

"Hello and welcome to Fox news. Today, our top story is that President Hidan now has his own television show. It will air tonight after this news broadcast."

Interestingly enough, there was no mention of the massacre Hidan had caused at his acceptance speech.

American politicians had decided to just sweep it under the rug because they did not want to worsen the already poor image the world had of America.

An hour later, the new reporter said, "And that brings us to the end of this news program. Thank you for watching and Hidan's new television show is next."

There was some dramatic music and a blood red background appeared on the screen.

Some words came out of the centre and they said, 'Jashin-sama'.

The music got louder and louder, until suddenly there was high pitched laughter and the music went dead.

"This is my show; Jashin-sama! I, Hidan, will show all you stupid Americans who the true God really is!" a voice shrieked.

The red screen went away and it could now be seen that Hidan was standing on a stage and there was a cage with people there beside him.

"These are the sacrifices! Now watch, as bring them all to Jashin-sama!"

Hidan then paused to hold the religious symbol around his neck and look up.

"Jashin-sama, I will make you proud!" he announced and threw the door to the cage open.

His scythe was drawn and he waited with a bloodthirsty grin for the first victim to step out.

The people let out a few whimpers and then pushed one of their own in front of Hidan.

The Jashinist quickly stabbed the man in front of him, licked his blood and then turned black and white.

Meanwhile, the other people ran out of the cage and started trying to get off the stage and to the outside world.

"There is no use running fuckers! All the exits are blocked!" Hidan hollered before releasing another high pitched laugh.

Then, Hidan stabbed himself in the gut, which made the man scream and fall to the ground shaking.

Ten minutes later, Hidan was done torturing the man and he started running after the others.

They had all dispersed to random areas. Some were trying to break the metal door down, while others were trying to hide.

There was, however, one intelligent person who was currently climbing up the wall and into the ceiling, where there were several pipes.

Needless to say, that was the only person who made it out of there alive.

For the next hour, Hidan captured the remaining victims and cruelly sacrificed them while a horrified camera man was forced to record.

Then, when they were all dead, Hidan turned the camera onto the camera man and killed him as well.

Before the end of the show, the white haired man stood on the stage and laughed while praising Jashin-sama's name.

At the white house:

#3 stood at the door wearing an apron.

He was rather upset about what Hidan had done on the show and he was getting ready to scold the Jashinist.

The apron was there to make him look more… motherly.

Hidan walked into the house and just like last time, he was caked in blood.

He was grinning from ear to ear as he came over to #3 and eagerly said, "Did you watch my show? Did you like it?"

#3 shook his head with a frown. "Hidan, your show was too violent."

The white haired man's face fell and he whined, "B-But why? I tried so hard to make it perfect! I even bought the cage and caught the people myself."

Meanwhile, the other guards just watched with growing interest. They were wondering how long it would take for Hidan to snap and kill #3.

"I have a show again tomorrow! And I want it to be prefect so what did I do wrong?" Hidan continued while tugging on #3's apron childishly.

"Well, I really like your set-up so don't change that, but I want you to stop killing people! It's not right. They do not deserve to die," #3 said with a small compliment to make the criticism less harsh.

"But I want to promote Jashin-sama!" Hidan continued with a sniffle.

He actually looked a little cute when he did that.

"You still can. Why don't you tell America was Jashinists do and what kind of God Jashin-sama is?"

Hidan's eyes lit up again and he said, "Then will you be proud of me?"

#3 patted Hidan on the head and started leading him upstairs, "I will always be proud of you, Hidan. Now go take a shower and I will tuck you into bed, alright?"

The white haired man nodded and ran to do as he was told.

Then, #3 came back down the stairs and to the other guards.

"Good thing Hidan got no love as a child. It makes him sooo much easier to manipulate."

What the Akatsuki members thought:

Itachi: "Hidan was rather predicable with the uncontrollable killing, but I was a bit surprised when one of the guards was able to control his emotions so quickly. Though, it should have been expected because Hidan has such a weak mind."

Kisame: "TV show… I should have done a TV show! I want to be on TV too! Oh and Hidan was alright as President, well, alright by Akatsuki member standards."

Pein: "The mothering technique is a useful one and I intend to employ it when we get back to the base. It would certainly help to keep him from destroying everything."

Konan: "It's so sad… All Hidan needed was a little bit of love. I feel bad for him because Pein and I had Jiraiya, while he had no one."

Zetsu: "Bodies! At last, I have bodies to feast on! So much blood! Yey! But too bad that stupid guard made Hidan promise to stop killing…"

Tobi/Madara: "I have to say, I was rather intrigued by the prospect of using Hidan's psychological past against him in a way to make him behave. It is something interesting I will look into with other humans."

Sasori: "Nothing he did interested me. He only proved how vain he was by being on television."

Deidara: "Killing is good, I guess, for the Akatsuki. Haha! Now I can finally get him back for being so sarcastic by calling him a mama's boy! Hahaha"

Orochimaru: "Weak minded Hidan… I am not surprised he fell for such a simple mind trick so quickly. It was rather pathetic."

Kakuzu: "This is perfect! Now, all I have to do to make Hidan obey me is put on an apron and talk down on him! …But I'm too cheap to buy an apron so I guess I will just steal #3's. He was horrible as President, though."

To be continued…

Wow… that was just plain strange.

Next time, Madara becomes the President! Next chapter is the last chapter so this is forewarning to extreme violence, assism and mass destruction.

Thanks for reading!

Any thoughts?


	11. Madara

Hello! Now before the chapter starts, I just have to say that I have nothing against America. Really, I don't... It's just that Madara... is... 'mentally retarded' to put it lightly. There will be destruction... you have been warned!

Uchiha Madara for President of the United States of America. (God help us all.)

Acceptance speech:

Uchiha Madara stood backstage with a large, arrogant grin on his face.

He had waited and waited for his turn and finally, it was here.

At his cue, he adjusted his bright, orange mask and Akatsuki cloak and then walked onto the stage.

People were clapping and cheering, which made his grin get larger.

He walked over to the podium and activated his Sharingan to look over the crowd with a glare.

All these foolish, mortal humans would rue to see the day they elected him.

Clearing his throat, Madara shrieked, "Tobi is the new President!"

All clapping ceased as people hurried to cover their ears from the high pitch.

"Tobi will make many changes and Tobi will make the country pretty!" he continued with a childish arm wave.

Then, suddenly, he straightened out, and cleared his throat again.

"Is that the kind of President you airheads want?" he growled in his natural deep voice.

Some people clapped at the theatrical act; glad that the President really did not have such a shrill voice.

"What America really needs is someone who can rule with an iron fist. Someone who is willing to make changes that the pathetic democratic government cannot. For too long, America has been poorly coordinated and it is time to bring that to an end."

By now, more people were clapping.

"I, Uchiha Madara, am that man and I _will _make America the most prosperous nation in the entire world," he said with his fist raised in the air.

"Say goodbye to democracy- I am now the official dictator of your country!" he announced and reached for his mask.

He removed the orange mask and people eagerly leaned forward to see his face.

The was an audible groan when they saw that there was another mask underneath it. This one was grey and it had three holes; one for each eye and then one on the forehead.

"Bow to your new king, mortals," he sneered and activated his Sharingan.

People took one look at his menacing form and did as they were told.

Madara let out a deep chuckled and then started swirling where his right eye was. His entire body went into the vortex and then he was gone.

First Order of Business:

The guards stood by the door to the White House.

They all looked like they were in severe pain and they were all resisting the urge to run away and cower in the backyard bushes.

"He's going to kill us," #1 muttered in referral to the fearsome Uchiha.

"No... he's going to make us kill ourselves," #2 specified.

"Or, maybe he is a perfectly kind gentleman underneath that tough exterior," #3 suggested with a shrug.

The other guards turned to raise an eyebrow at #3.

Then, they resumed standing by the door in silence. Each was imagining his own death via Sharingan; except for #3, who was the only optimist in the bunch.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you actually going to do your jobs and greet me?" a deep voice said from somewhere in the living room.

The guards' heads snapped in that general direction and they hesitated for a moment before going to see who it was.

It was none other than Uchiha Madara and he was glaring at them with his one Sharingan eye and the other Rinnengan.

"Mr. President! W-Welcome home," #1 stuttered and bowed; the others following his lead.

"So this is where the President is supposed to reside," the Uchiha said more to himself then the others. "However, I am now the dictator so this place is no longer suitable for my tasks. Instead, I expect you to build me an impregnable castle."

"Right away, Mr. President. Where would you like it to be?" #2 piped up.

Madara looked thoughtful for a moment before saying, "Inside the Rocky Mountains in the state of Wyoming."

"Inside? You mean like a cave?" #3 asked.

The new President nodded and then ushered the first three guards out of the room.

The remaining guards, #4 and 5, gulped. "Is there something else you need, Mr. President?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, there is. I order you to go call the vice-president and tell her that I have already rerouted all of the budget toward the army. Also tell her that conscription, (joining the armed forces), is now mandatory for all men aged 15 to 50. Then tell her she's fired."

#4 and 5 stood with the jaws agape, but nonetheless, went to carry out their orders.

"Stop. Only one of your is necessary for that task. The other must remain here," Madara said with a hidden smirk.

Before #5 could say anything, #4 ran out of the room.

#5 just stood there in shock, but tried to look normal.

"I have a very special task for you," the Uchiha began slowly.

"You are to call the Canadian Prime Minister and the Mexican President to tell them that I have declared war on them. They can either surrender now or fight a futile battle that I will surely win."

#5's eyes practically popped out of his skull. "You're declaring war!"

"Yes, now go, my patience is thin," Madara sneered, clearly annoyed at the outburst.

The guard bowed and quickly ran out of the room.

With the room to himself, the new President sat down on the couch with a pleased sigh.

At last, he was in a position powerful enough to take over the world.

On the news:

"For the millionth time in the last month, we have breaking news!" a female news reporter announced.

"Uchiha Madara, the new President of the United States, has declared war on Canada and Mexico. Right now, the two nation leaders are discussing what to do."

The panel then changed to a view of the Canadian Prime Minister and Mexican President stepping onto a stage.

"President Madara, we have heard and received your declaration of war. However, if you are truly serious about this, we will not surrender, but instead, we will gather the forces of Europe and Asia to help us defeat you. We strongly advice that you retract your war statement immediately because we do not want another world war," the Canadian said.

Then, the Mexican spoke, "We all have strong economic and political ties with each other so I see no reason as to why we cannot get along. Please do not break relationships that took many, many years to build. We hope you will reconsider."

Back in America, Madara laughed at the television and then turned it off.

This sudden display of happiness caused the guards to flinch and do their best to distance themselves from the President.

"Good. This is just as I expected," the Uchiha stated as he got up, put on his Akatsuki cloak and then teleported away using his Sharingan.

At the military base:

No one had been expecting war to be declared so abruptly, so it was no surprise that the military base was a mess.

The generals were trying to figure out the best tactical strategy, while everyone else was scrambling to gather resources.

A large military base had been establishes in New York, New Orleans, Detroit, San Francisco and everywhere inland near an airport.

In the main meeting room, there was a swirling noise and suddenly, Madara was in the middle of the room.

He said nothing as he walked over to the large computer, opened up a map of all the nuclear stockpiles in America and then selected those that were closest to large Canadian and Mexican cities.

By the time anyone had figured out what he was going to do, it was too late because he had already activated the weapons.

A countdown was now on the screen and people were starting to gather around in protest.

"Mr. President! What are you doing? Millions of people will die if you go through with this and world war will be inevitable!" the commander-general boomed.

The Uchiha paid him no attention as he selected more warheads and directed them at major European cities. He did the same for cities in South America and Asia. Australia, however, remained untargetted.

Finally, the commander-general grew a backbone and reached out to stop the President by force.

He grabbed Madara by the shoulders, but much to his dismay, his hands went straight through the President.

Meanwhile, Madara turned to face the commander-general and he clenched him by the throat.

"I am the dictator of this country. You have no power over me, human," the Uchiha sneered and threw the man across the room.

Suddenly, there was an alarm and the countdown went to zero.

All across the country, nuclear and non-nuclear weapons were shooting out of the ground and onto cities all around the world.

Countless millions of people died before they even knew what hit them.

Madara just stood and watched by satellite as entire nations were turned into dust.

Eventually, he finished watching and tore his eyes from the screen.

He activated his Sharingan and looked at all the people in the room, which was actually quite a large amount.

"You will mobilize the army to take over Canadian and Mexican government. Then, you will take a portion of the troops to crush Europe. Feel free to use any means necessary. After that, go to South America and Asia," he commanded and because of his ocular powers, all the people became mindless puppets that did exactly as they were told.

Then, Madara teleported again, but this time, he was at Fox News.

When he appeared out of thin air, it was 'surprising' to say the least.

People ran out of the room on sight; screaming most of the time.

The entire building was evacuated within minutes, which was amazing considering it would take half an hour if there was a fire.

Madara made his way to the main control room.

Then, he used a secret presidential password to take control of all the television in the world.

Finally, he directed a camera onto himself and spoke, "Foolish mortals. I gave you a chance to surrender, but you did not so now you will pay."

Activating his Sharingan, he continued, "You all agree with my goals of world domination and you will fight with all of your lives to destroy your government and make me the leader of the world."

"Resistance will be crushed and I have no qualms about killing off a few billion people just to get what I want," he ended with a sneer and then turned off the television.

Then, he set his speech onto 'loop' so that no matter what channel or at what time one turned on the television, his hypnotic speech would be playing.

All around the world, the bombs continued to drop.

It had not even been 24 hours since Madara's start as President, but already, so much destruction had been caused.

It just goes to show that one man really can make a difference in the world.

The twist it that the difference is not always positive.

One Month Later:

Uchiha Madara walked into his underground fortress in the Rocky Mountains.

The armed forces had just managed to overthrow the Chinese government and they were now steadily going onward.

Europe had fallen after the first few nuclear bombs, as had North and South America.

Asia was slowly following their lead, but the Middle East and Africa turned out to be the hardest to overtake.

In the Middle-East the people were extremely violent so they were perfectly fine with firing nuclear weapons back at the US.

As for Africa, many nations erupted in civil and national war upon hearing of what world's demise. Thus, when the armed forces got there, they not only had to defeat the rebels, but the civilians as well.

There was absolutely no peace.

Back on North America, the armed forces were gathering all the people and forcing them to watch the video where Madara made them all mindless puppets via Sharingan.

The streets were eerily quiet and anyone still in control of their actions made sure not to make a noise.

Groups of civilians were currently migrating through the forest into no mans land, which was a death trap at best.

Only those experienced at living in the forest were likely to survive...

Madara walked over to his throne and sat down with a smirk.

His guards rushed over and bowed in front of him; each making sure not to look into his eyes.

"The world is mine... you should be thankful that I have let you live long enough to see it," he began as he opened a bottle of wine and took a sip.

"I will create peace. Soon, there will be no more fighting and the world will be healing."

The guards cast each other solemn glances.

It was actually the end for the world.

What the Akatsuki members thought:

Itachi: "...He actually took over the world? So quickly? Humans are far more pathetic than I thought... They invented the television to spread information, but in the end, it caused their own demise."

Kisame: "I don't believe it! He took over the human world! He made it look so easy too... I guess nuclear weapons and hypnosis are an invincible duo. It makes me rather thankful that we ninjas don't have such horrible weapons of mass destruction. Well, other than bijuu."

Pein: "Quite honestly, I am not surprised that Madara was able to take over the world. After all, he did keep stating, repeatedly, that it was his intention to. Now, if only we could win the ninja war back home that easily."

Konan: "So many innocent people died when he dropped those bombs... He hadn't even declared war on Europe, South America or Asia when he did it! A warning would have been a little more humane..."

Zetsu: "Finally! I get to eat people! So many people! I can actually travel the world and be like one of those food tasting people that judge who tastes the best! ...I just wonder if nuclear radiation will make me sick."

Sasori: "I killed 9 million people and everyone get all pissy and then he comes by and kills practically a billion, but those guards do nothing! It is not fair! Though, I am somewhat satisfied that it is possible to take over the human world."

Deidara: "Wow... so many explosions... I think I'm in love... Err... I mean, not with Tobi but uhh... with... with the explosions! The art! Yes, un."

Orochimaru: "Madara can be quite violent when he wants to be... All that murder was rather brutal for someone who spends his nights meticulously planning everything. Still, he achieved way more than we did..."

Hidan: "Holy shit! That was so violent! He didn't even look like he cared when he killed all those people! It was so... heroic! Madara-sama is now my new idol! I wanna be just like him when I grow up!"

Kakuzu: "...Well, he destroyed the world. What's new? I mean, we were all expecting it right?"

THE END!

At last! The 'Akatsuki for President' series has ended! ...and so has the world with Madara in power.

It was so much fun to write this and I loved all the support I got along the way! All of your reviews warmed my heart!

Thanks for reading!

Who do you think was the best President out of all of them?


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